Saturday, August 31, 2013

true colors

 He tells everybody that I am his best friend. I am myself around him.

We went out together to help his roommate from 12.30pm to about 7pm. He said I could drink water from the water bottle if I didn't mind.The room air conditioner was cold and so he kept off-ing it and when the room was hot, he turn on the air cond. Turn on and turned off the aircond about every hour.
He kept saying he feels like he is getting sick, maybe due to yesterday's running? He felt very thirsty today(running or air cond?)  Maybe the air cond also made him feel like he is getting sick?
He kept singing "True colors" today.

Then he said he has something he wants to tell me, something that might not concern me or I might not care and maybe may concern me in the future ( -->not now). I was curious and wondering what he wanted to tell me? Does he want to say that he has a boyfriend? A girlfriend? An intersex (IS)? His stories as an exchange student?

We tasted each other's dinner and drink. His roommate said he shouldn't treat me like that, eating his food halfway then trading it with me and me trading my food with him halfway. He made sure I use my own straw and utensils when we tasted each other's drink and food.

Later in the car he said something like "I'm sick. I'm really really sick" in a very serious tone.
I thought he meant sick as in normal fever when I heard him say 'I'm sick' then the second time I thought he meant sick as in pervert? LoL. The third time I thought he is really sick as in going to die->Cancer?

Then he told me don't panic, just now we shared food and drink and water...He touched his cheeks with both hands and I heard his struggling voice saying to me that he has HIV, he is HIV positive.

I was a lil relief, it wasn't cancer. Just HIV, not AIDS, so he will still be alive.
Erm, that doesn't really change things. I remember when I participated in the 3R Unicef Futsal Challenge that HIV cannot be pass through saliva, kissing, mosquito:
  • Air or water.
  • Insects, including mosquitoes. Studies conducted by CDC researchers and others have shown no evidence of HIV transmission from insects.
  • Saliva, tears, or sweat.  There is no documented case of HIV being transmitted by spitting.
  • Casual contact like shaking hands or sharing dishes.
  • Closed-mouth or “social” kissing
HIV spread through cuts, wound, blood and I have no cuts so I'm okay.

Funny thing 5 minutes after that the radio played the song True Colors...

Pay attention to the lyrics. I think it sums his emotions today.

Friday, August 23, 2013

embrace ur experience

just wanted to share this...

Friday, August 23, 2013
Own Your Experiences
by Rick Warren
“Remember today what you have learned about the Lord through your experiences with him.” (Deuteronomy 11:2 TEV)

You must embrace the experiences of your life — the good ones, the bad ones, the shameful ones, the right ones, the wrong ones, the happy, and the sad ones — and stop running from your past if God’s going to use it for good in your life.

Galatians 3:4 says, “Were all your experiences wasted? I hope not” (NCV). Don’t run away from your past. Because of pain, many people deny their past, ignore their past, discount their past, regret their past, or resent their past. They revise their past and make up stories because they’re happier dealing with the lie than the pain of the past. But if you’re in denial, God can’t use your experience for good.

God can use every experience in your life for good, but you’ve got to stop running from them. You have to embrace your experiences. Maybe your parents weren’t that great, maybe you weren’t that hot in school, maybe you weren’t the football captain or the prom 
queen — so what? They’re your experiences. Own them.

Stop pushing the bad experiences out of your mind. You’ve got to remember them. Deuteronomy 11:2 says, “Remember today what you have learned about the Lord through your experiences with him” (TEV).

That verse is saying that the important thing is to remember the lessons. How do you do that? The best way to remember the lessons and experiences of your life is to keep a journal. I’m not talking about a diary. A diary is a list of what you did: “Today I went to the store and bought milk.” You don’t necessarily write in a journal every day. But every time you have an important lesson, you write it down so you won’t forget it: “That was painful. I learned that the hard way. I don’t want to forget that.”

To remember what you’ve learned about God, you need to keep a journal. Then, you can look back and remember what God taught you so you can be encouraged in the dark times of your life and know that God is still working for your good.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

it's ok to be single

I think Arielle's words are quite true from time 2:44 to 3:10

"I think a lot of people make the mistake that your life is only worth sharing if you have a relationship. Society says it too that you have to be with somebody all the time. Why are you single? You're 40 years old, why are you single. I mean people always have the misconception that your life is worth more or you're better of a person when you're with somebody else. People always tend to settle down that's why they are in relationships and they are not happy and that is why 1 in 2 people get divorces right?"

Monday, August 12, 2013

reserve terbaik

This semester I thought I will be holiday-ing at home and not involved in MASUM (Majlis Sukan Universiti-Universiti Malaysia or Inter Local Uni sports)

But just yesterday I was called up to fill in for UM Women Futsal cause apparently 2 players are not available. One in Indonesia and one in Brunei so the emergency reserved player aka Hilda was called.

I feel so unfit, may be due to me withdrawing from sports this year.  Don't worry, I'm not injured...I was just quite busy with studies, too many credit hours. Mostly practical classes and palapes and auditing a course.

Btw, did you know I miss an exam paper? It was the first exam paper of the semester. Yup, I woke up late and a series of unfortunate things happened to me that I am just not allowed to sit for that exam but God still allowed me to pass that subject. I believe with all my heart that if I sat for that exam, I would have gotten an A and thus getting a GPA of 4 flat. Back to reality, I got 5 A's and 1 C+ so GPA this sem is 3.7.  Before this, my CGPA was 3.9 but now it went down to 3.85 :'(
For more detail, you can read Tauliah, Sem 6

Oh well, God was teaching me that Studies isn't everything and that I shouldn't let my world be so revolved around Studies that I let go of relationships and trusting others. I just relied purely on myself and looked down at others, thinking I do not need their help or support or care about their feelings. So filled with Pride that God needed to break my conceited heart.

He broke me by taking away the only things that I relied on...MYSELF and Knowledge/Studies.
I cried and cried but I knew it was my own fault. How could I ever trust myself again? I contemplated on jumping down the hostel building but I kept thinking of the miraculous saves that happened whereby people who are suppose to die didn't die. If it's not your time, whatever you try, you just won't die.

Palapes pentauliahan di UMS.

Oh, I went to Outward Bound Sabah(OBS), sponsored by Yayasan Tunku Abdul Rahman as an self-enrichment course. Thank you Tunku Abdul Rahman Foundation. :)
Tunku Scholars that went to OBS are Fast, Dahlia, Wan Zairul and me(Hilda). Out of 10 participants, the Tunku Scholars did 15 days while the other 6 participants did the 20 days challenge.

Monday, August 5, 2013

an interesting article abt Fatwa

Published: Sunday August 4, 2013 MYT 12:00:00 AM
Updated: Sunday August 4, 2013 MYT 12:40:53 PM

Only in Malaysia: where we have gone wrong with fatwa

Fatwa are only advisory opinions to guide a Muslim to lead a life according to Islam.
I WONDER how many Malaysians know that under the Syariah Criminal Offences laws of this country, it is a criminal offence for a Muslim to defy, disobey or dispute or to give, propagate or disseminate any opinion concerning Islamic teachings, Islamic law or any issue, contrary to any fatwa for the time being in force.
And that we must be the only country in the Muslim world that has turned the opinion of the ulama into the law of the land without going through the legislative process and then makes it an offence for anyone to challenge that opinion.
That this is a gross violation of constitutional guarantees of fundamental liberties and has no basis in Islamic legal history seem to escape those who drafted the laws and passed them in Parliament and state legislative assemblies.
As long ago as 1997, Sisters in Islam had submitted a memorandum to the then Prime Minister, Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamed, alerting him to the Shariah Criminal Offences (SCO) federal and state laws.
We pointed out that in Islamic legal thought, fatwa are mere advisory opinions and do not have the force of law; to make it a crime to challenge a fatwa in force is to equate the opinion of a Mufti to the infallible word of God; the legislative authority to make laws in Malaysia lies with Parliament and the state assemblies, not the fatwa committees; the right to restrict fundamental liberties lies solely with Parliament and thus the provisions in the law that punish indecency amounts to an unconstitutional trespass on federal powers.
He ordered the suspension of the law and for the Attorney-General’s chambers to conduct a full study. This occurred after the public outcry over the arrest and charging of three young women for violating a fatwa by taking part in a Miss Malaysia Petite beauty contest which drew public attention to the existence of these draconian provisions in the SCO laws.
But when the ruckus died down, so it seems did the review. The public was not informed of any progress.
So these laws remain on the books. Whenever the opportunity arises, the law is revived to threaten and intimidate those who dare to have an opinion different from those in religious authority. So much for Malaysia being touted as the model moderate Muslim country.
In 2005, when another public outcry broke out over the arrest and treatment of 100 young Muslim women and men at the Zouk discotheque, Sisters in Islam yet again submitted another memorandum to the Government calling for a comprehensive review and repeal of the SCO laws.
This time SIS supported its position with research by two legal experts who studied the laws from constitutional and fiqh(Islamic jurisprudence) perspectives.
How much more does it take for this government to realise that forcing people to believe what they do not believe does not constitute faith?
That is why every time a fatwa is issued that makes no sense to the public or the law is enforced that violates the fundamental liberties of citizens, there is a public outcry. And then those in religious authority get insulted and are befuddled as to why so many Malaysians, even Muslims they say, dare to challenge their views and contradict fellow Muslims.
Not a crime
My friends and scholars I know in the Arab world are stunned that a modern country like Malaysia could be so close minded when it comes to Islam. Everyone, literally everyone I meet, knows that fatwa are only advisory opinions to guide a Muslim to lead a life according to Islam. They are theological and legal reasonings given in question and answer form. If at all it is binding, it is only to the questioner, certainly not binding on a whole population and certainly not a crime to disobey.
In fact, if you don’t like the fatwa given by your local mullah, you can go to another one to ask for another opinion and it is left to your conscience to decide which fatwa you want to follow. Everyone understands that in the end it is between you and God.
Truly, only God knows best. The state has no role to play to force you to believe or obey a fatwa and send you to prison or fine you for disobeying the opinion of someone in religious authority. And the media certainly does not sensationalise and incite hatred against anyone for not following a fatwa.
But for some people in Malaysia, this Islamic tradition that has enabled Islam to thrive and grow for hundreds of years in all social and cultural contexts seems an alien tradition.
And yet there are hundreds of fatwa listed in the e-fatwa portal of Jakim and the state religious authorities on a whole range of issues, from whether it is harus (permissible) to dye one’s hair black (only for jihad purposes or for a woman to please her husband), to the use of indelible ink on voters’ fingers (permissible). Some are gazetted, most are not.
For example, many states have issued fatwa that say smoking is haram; Selangor and Penang gazetted, the others did not. Selangor, Pahang and Penang have issued fatwa that declare Amanah Saham Bumiputra (ASB) and Amanah Saham Nasional (ASN) as haram (forbidden), but the National Fatwa Council states it is harus. Some other states followed suit to state it is harus, but not those three states.
So who is right and who is wrong?
All fatwa are justified in the name of Islam. So when there are so many fatwa on the same issue, some making it haram, some harus, some gazetted, some not, some states have them, some don’t, what then is the “Islamic” position on any particular issue?
This would not pose a problem if, like other Muslim countries, the Malaysian authorities have the wisdom to leave it to the conscience of the individual to decide which opinion or which teaching he or she wants to follow and leave it to God to decide in the end whether that person has committed a sin by obeying or disobeying.
But when the state tries to play God, it leads us to the conundrums we are in today. For the public will question the basis upon which some states decide to gazette one fatwa but not another. On what basis is action taken against those who violate a fatwa?
Thousands of Muslims in Selangor and Penang violate the smoking fatwa on a daily basis, and yet none of them has been accused of insulting Islam or charged for violating a fatwa. Why not?
Neither has any tobacco company been charged for propagating and disseminating their opinions on smoking through advertising and promotion that clearly violate the fatwa.
On the scale of wrongdoings, the public wonders why corrupt politicians and officials or the thousands of fathers who fail to pay maintenance to their children are not accused of insulting Islam. It is this selective persecution and hypocrisy that rile public opinion.
Difference of opinion
There is a good reason as to why fatwa never have the force of law in Islamic history. Because to do so is to, in effect, equate the opinion of the ulama to the word of God.
One reason why the doctrine of binding precedent did not evolve in the Islamic legal tradition is due to the belief that the opinion of one mujtahid (a jurist qualified to interpret legal issues) can never be regarded as the final wisdom in understanding the infinite message of the Quran.
Another jurist can give an equally valid opinion based on his learned understanding of the text. In the context of law-making in a democracy, these differences of opinion should be debated in public and the legislative body will then decide which opinion it wants to turn into law to serve the best interest of society. Public law must be open to public debate and pass the test of public reason.
But in Malaysia, disobeying a fatwa has become elevated to insulting God, insulting Islam. Yes, the state religious authority could consider it an insult to what it considers its learned opinion on Islam; but this cannot constitute a crime, nor can it equate its opinion to God as that would be tantamount to shirk(associating others with God).
If it is the Islamic tradition to make it a crime to have differences of opinion in Islam, how then did numerous schools of theology and numerous schools of law develop in Islamic history?
In the canons of Islamic juristic scholarship written by the classical scholars of Islam, no one accuses another of insulting Islam for differences of opinion. Only politicians and those with aspirations to power and control do that.
The tragedy of Muslims today is that while we say we want to restore Islam to its past glory, we are instead doing a grave injustice to our rich legal tradition. We bring the religion into disrepute and ridicule in our obsession to make all Muslims think only in the way the state deems fit.
That the coercive power of a modern nation state is then used to impose this one point of view on a whole community of Muslims is unprecedented in Islamic history. And obviously unenforceable in a democracy as there would be public outrage.
We have abused what is authoritative in our Islamic tradition for authoritarian purposes. And this has no place in a democracy nor in Muslim practice.

Malaysian woman, 38, arrested after Muslim outrage over video showing her performing religious rites on her dogs

Syrian religious group bans croissants because they symbolise ‘oppression’

  • A Sharia committee issued a fatwa declaring forbidding croissants
  • The group said that their crescent shape holds ‘colonial’ significance
  • The pastry’s crescent shape 'celebrates European victory over Muslims'
Yoga haram
Sunday November 23, 2008Fatwa Council deems ancient form of exercise from India 'haram' for Muslims BY MAZWIN NIK ANIS

Haram to wear Manchester United Jerseys.Haram pakai jersi lambang salib Oleh LUQMAN HAKIM AB. RAHIM

Joining Miss Malaysia Haram
Mon, 22 Jul 2013 10:45:00 GMT My thoughts on being disqualified from Miss Malaysia World because I am Muslim
Sara Amelia Bernard shares her side of the story.

Saturday, August 3, 2013


The Gay Community and That One Time Jesus Called Me the ‘N-word’

Young Adult Pastor, Crazy Nigerian, Husband, Father and Blogger hoping to play a small role in the grand story of God. You can check out more from Sammy by visiting his blog, on Facebook or following him on Twitter @SammyAdebiyi.

5 days before I preached a sermon on homosexuality, I got this comment on my blog.
“Keep your phony ass biggot bullshit and you pious sense of higher status to yourself you price of trash. You can try to stop me all you want but you are still a nigger and a cult leading fag. No wonder your father didn’t see you for 11 years. Who would be proud of their nigger son starting a cult.” -Jesus.
I tell you what, I’ve never felt so hated. I wish I could say I his words bounced off me like bullets on superman cause I was wearing my spiritual cape but I can’t.

Nope. No super spiritual response here.

Just a discouraged pastor who wanted to crawl up in a hole and not come out. I know I won’t get any “hall of faith” votes for saying this but I honestly wanted to quit ministry, life, Jesus and everything.
All because some Internet troll blasted me on my blog.  And on twitter. Then on my blog again after bypassing my filter. Then on a new twitter account after I blocked the first one. Then back to my blog on a new IP address. One last twitter account. How about more blog comments?
Over and over again Jesus (as he called himself) berated me and called me the ‘n word’ more times than I care to remember. Over 50 comments later, I was sitting in a corner balling my eyes out because I felt so hated by “Jesus”.

In desperation I prayed for Jesus to make “Jesus” go away.

I asked for him to make me feel better, but he didn’t. Jesus didn’t make me feel better, no, he did something better. He said…
“Now you know what it sometimes “feels” like to be gay. Now you know what the gay community has to face from family/neighbors/the church.”
And BOOM, just like that, God blind-sided me with a 100m/hr curve ball that literally left me breathless and in tears.
It’s like God used the words of an ignorant troll to cut open my heart open then he filled it with love for the gay community.
I literally didn’t know what to do but cry and say sorry.
“I’m sorry”

That’s how I started my sermon on homosexuality 5 days after “Jesus” trolled me online.

I’m sorry.
I swear you could hear a pin drop. I guess no one expected me to start a sermon on homosexuality by saying sorry.
I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry for anyone who has ever felt hated like I did because they are ______ (LGBTQA).
I’m sorry for anyone who’s ever heard a parent say you’re no longer welcome here because you’re ____.
I’m sorry for anyone who’s ever felt unwelcome in the church because they are _______.
I’m sorry for anyone who’s ever felt like “Jesus” hated them.
Jesus doesn’t hate you. He loves you more than you can ever imagine. I don’t know if we’ll ever agree on the the issue of homosexuality, but what I do know is Jesus loves you. I know that he loves you and I also know that I haven’t done a good job of showing you that and for that I’m so sorry.
Something like that.
I said something like that, cried, read from the bible, cried, said sorry a couple more times and talked about how bad I hope our community is someday known for loving the gay community.

Wanna hear something crazy?

I made a bigger difference in the gay community through that one sermon than I have in over 10 years of ministry. Why?
Because it was the first time I really cared about gay people and they could tell.
That night I shook hands, hugged and became friends with several gay people (most of who disagreed with me theologically). I also got emails from others who admitted they’ve always felt hated by Jesus and the church until that night.
But Sammy, (what some of you are thinking right now), how do you love someone whose actions or behaviors you find really unacceptable?  How can I love someone who I believe is living in sin?
Great question. Do your thing Mr. C.S Lewis.
“There is someone that I love even though I don’t approve of what he does. There is someone I accept though some of his thoughts and actions revolt me. There is someone I forgive though he hurts the people I love the most. That person is…me.”
(If you can’t say amen, say ouch).

It’s true isn’t it?

It’s true that you and I have plenty of practice loving, forgiving and taking care of someone who disgusts us at times. And it’s true that there are plenty of things we do that we don’t like but we can love ourselves and accept ourselves without approving of everything we do.
Please don’t miss the point. This post is not about what the bible teaches about homosexuality or excusing your moral standards.
This post is about the hypocrisy in my heart (and maybe yours?). This post is a reminder to extend grace and love to the gay community like we readily extend it to ourselves. Or like they extend it to us.

Guess what the LGBTQA community in Toledo said when we asked them what they thought about Christians.

“We are hesitant to say anything because we are stereotyped a lot and we definitely don’t want to do that to ALL Christians.”
When I read that, I cried. I cried because their response confirmed that I’m such a hypocrite. I cried because when I looked at the gay community, I no longer saw a threat or an “issue” to debate. I saw people who felt hated by Jesus.
I cried because for the first time in my life, I wanted gay people to know Jesus loved them more than I wanted them to know my theological position.
Why do you think so many in the gay community feel so hated by Jesus and the church? Do you think it’s possible for us to disagree and still love people radically?
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