Monday, September 27, 2010
I performed my best in the first game against Singapore's nanyang tech uni(NTU), A lot of good tackles and yeah, pretty good defense. But I developed a bad habit of sliding people...ish ish ish..
We had a total of 3 games on saturday. 7s a side, 7 minutes play, 1 min rest, 7 min play.
The next day was quite bad for I was feeling really OFF, my body was aching and i felt unusually weak, I just knew something was wrong with me. Felt super duper weak...I wanted to call my coach n tell him "hi coach, i'm feeling unwell, i am not coming today, i'm so sorry ya" but i didn't cause i know that is irresponsible and unethical.
I'm in the 2nd team aka the development team..Wild Cats (lol, reminds me of High School Musical)
In my team, I'm one of the few fit players so it's important for me to not get hurt or injured cause got no substitute for me. We play as a team and lose as a Team, there's no I in Team...so, i went to play on sunday despite knowing that i won't be able to function at optimal performance that day.
Wei said I looked like i had a hangover...hangover face..tired
During warm up, i felt really tired and felt like vomiting. Coach said if you feel like vomiting, go and vomit la, so Right before the game I went to vomit, i felt a bit better after that but still really tired. (Coach Haflil said it's dehydration)
In the match, on the first ruck in the first few minutes , when i fell to the ground, i didn't want to get up and i just wanted to lie down there. But i knew that it would be selfish and irresponsible as i still could go on and furthermore there is no substitute player for me. So, after a few lagging moments on the ground, i forced myself to get up and get on with the game by convincing myself, "Come on mun foong, don't give up so easily, don't give in to yourself. You're much better than that. It's a team sports, there's no I in team, don't let the team down. come on, get up and get on with the game!"
I realised vomiting takes up some energy too...LoL
I scored my first try! Fuyoh, tired tired like that also still can run 50 m n score a try!
and after the game, i went and vomited again...
pale face, exhausted, tired and feeling really lousy. No appetite too.
When i went home, i felt like vomiting a few times but i told myself, "Don't vomit la, you ah what did you eat the whole day? oat crackers, 2 mouthful of chicken rice, 2 bites of banana and 2 bites of a piece of bread...if you vomit, there's practically nothing in your stomach."
LoL, like that also i can think...
anyway, my mom didn't let me go back to uni cause of this worryingly sick condition...so i was under observation by my mom.
thank God, everything was back normal on monday!
wah, dehydration really sucks yeah...
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
I'm so fed up, I'm so changed.
I just wanna say "Whatever!" and then move on.
I don't know what to do.
Should i just ignore the person or should i reply and say what i want to say...very hurtful words
That person just thinks about herself and thinks the world is all about her.
She forgets that there are other things besides her in the planet we live in.
She's also demanding and I really had my patience pushed to the limits.
But how cruel it would be for me to inflict sorrow on that certain wounded lamb?
I know I have a responsibility to take care of His Sheep, especially the one that are unique and require more special care but this is all just too much.
I wanna throw that sheep into someone else's pen, Abandon it. I started ignoring it,
But the love the sheep has for the caretaker is more than the love the caretaker has for the sheep as the sheep keep coming back.
I know my LORD loves her too, but she doesn't really love Him. And now this burden or this responsibility has caused me to indirectly "hate" my LORD.
I can never really understand fully the meaning of AGAPE aka Sacrificial Love.
Imagine that Jesus loved us although we didn't love Him, Jesus loved us so much that He laid his life down for us to have eternal life. The love so much as to be willing to sacrifice everything, including One self.
Isaiah 45: 4, 5
4 For the sake of Jacob my servant,
of Israel my chosen,
I summon you by name
and bestow on you a title of honor,
though you do not acknowledge me.
5 I am the LORD, and there is no other;
apart from me there is no God.
I will strengthen you,
though you have not acknowledged me,
Monday, September 20, 2010
By the way, Ru Shan left us, she left UM to go to a Uni in UK...
Apparently, she's gonna chase her dreams...the course she got in UM was not the one she wanted...
Just today evening i received an SMS from someone i know...
She was upset with me, she said I have changed so much in a bad and negative way that i am no longer the HILDA she used to know! She asked me WHY?
I gotta admit I wasn't a bit surprise at the sms...cause i knew each word she wrote was the truth.
In my heart I wanted to reply her, "Yalor, the time u got to know me was when i was a strong Christian but now I'm less than half of a Christian...the only reason why I'm still aware of God's presence in my life is because of people who love me sooo much and praying for me.
Emjhay Pabilona from Philippines whom i knew through mission trip and
Amanda Ho whom I knew from Girls Camp"
Even as i was showering, i was thinking of how different a person i am now. It is true, I'm rude, straight to the point, easily agitated and irritated. I take advantage aka take things for granted. Feel so fed up with unique people...very different change indeed. I feel so fed up of layanning nonsense.
UM, away from church and rugby are just reasons...external factors.
The change is from inside...laziness, justification, no more integrity, taking things too lightly and fed up. Maybe prayer and Quiet time is a big fraction too?
So, starting tomorrow i think i wanna make a change! try my best not to be rude..try a little kindness...
Saturday, September 18, 2010
There was not a day i spent alone! It's with my elder sis, elder bro, younger bro, mom and dad.
Nostalgic, a lot of old memories revisited and new ones made. I really love doing things with my siblings, even when we have nothing to do,the time spent with them is enough for me.
A camera lesson from my sis' bf:
1. Take the background, not just people cause if you wanna take people pictures. at home also can take.
2. It's ok to be flexible to find the right angle, don't just stand in one place moving the camera up and down.
On the space shot, peer pressure still exist..haha. My bro and I sat at the sides and there was a girl who sat in between us, when we reached the tio and put up our hands, the girl looked to the left and saw my bro putting up his hands, then she look to the right and saw me putting up my hands so she also put up her hands...LoL.
The best memory of this holiday is Tommy encouraging me, my elder brother telling me to believe and have trust, to be confident.
Going on the space shot and roller coaster, with my bro's encouragement I had the courage to let go and trust the system. Holding onto the bars was the sign of not trusting and insecure of the protection offered.
This also taught me something spiritual...Learn to believe, trust God. Let go, Learn to have faith in God. Stop being insecure. Be confident in Him, He will keep you safe and His protection is not fragile.
Monday, September 13, 2010
okeys, for all you folks out there who hates holidays and call it boring and unproductive, I got something to say to you.
First of all, the word Holiday comes from the word HOLY day. Usually a religious event and usually it's a rest day...Sabbath... A day where you stop from all mundane work and dedicate the day to your respective God/s.
Nowadays we always hear about a boring and unproductive holiday...Why? Cause there's no internet access? Cause you didn't do any work or assignment or etc?
Let me tell you that holidays are suppose to be work free->a day to halt and rest, Come on, i mean you keep complaining there's not enough time and you're too busy, now when you're given a day/s off you complain, you feel you're wasting time...
Hey, even God rested on the 7th day...Don't you think it's time to rest from your work?
Maybe it's all the teachers fault...they give us holiday homework, assignment and so everyone suddenly becomes workaholics and feels restless if they don't do anything during the holidays! Therefore holidays which are suppose to be rest from work somehow turns into "unproductive holidays"
A time you suppose to spend with your family and people by bonding, talking, helping, having fun with people especially family members or special people in our life suddenly turns into work at home, stuck in front of screens, contacting colleagues, work and worried about due dates.
A time of rest turns into a time of work.
Now that defeats the whole purpose of having a break!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Yesterday night the elder man said "You don't know a lot, you don't understand, you was not there. There's a lot of things we cover from you so that you won't hate him so much"
"So, to you, you can bring yourself to see him as someone good. But you don't know...all what happened"
I know there's truth in each and every word spoken by the elder man and i do believe the elder man.
"To us, he was just a stranger."
"Have you ever celebrated his birthday?"
"We tried, waited for him till midnight but he never came back, we bought cake, decorated the house and all, 3 years we waited to celebrate his birthday but on the fourth year we gave up."
"He gambled everything, while his wife worked her ass off trying to support her children."
"He went to Genting Highland to gamble and borrowed money from loan sharks, almost every week the loan sharks will come to the house to ask where is he, the loan shark wanted to collect debt"
"What he did? He had an affair with the Philippine maid..a married man with 5 children!"
" His wife worked, worked and worked. He brought different women to the house and f**k in the house! Many different women. I saw with my own 2 eyes. I was still a young child that time.
He doesn't even work or provide for the family. All he can do is Talk. Did you ever remember him doing anything for you? Yet he still has the nerves to ask money from his wife."
"Why they didn't divorce? Family pride, dignity, maruah keluarga. The wife thought of the children."
"While you were away, you didn't know he went missing for a few years. When he came back, the wife said if he wants to stay, he has to drive his children to school. To you, he is your driver, Without the agreement, you even think he would send you to school? He wouldn't be the least bothered."
"What do you even know about him?"
"There's so much more that you don't know. You call him now and ask him where is he? What is he doing?"
"That day when he physically hit and fought with his 3 eldest children, what were you 2 doing? Crying, you're were too young to understand. We all wanted to kill him that time."
"He knows he cannot speak or even look at the 3 eldest children's eyes because they knew what he did."
"But to the 2 youngest children who don't know much about what he did to the family, you 2 are his last hope..."
Recently I read in the newspaper of a kasanova, who could sweet talk and cheat many women of their money...
But seriously, when people ask me about him, I don't know what to answer. In the most polite way i can say is "He's not a good role model"
I will never forget my 18th birthday! the welcome to adulthood. Of all the days in the year, he choose to reveal that he has another family. Welcome to REALITY...
Sometimes, just to make myself feel better, I tell myself, Maybe the reason he's not in the house always and not caring about us is He's a spy? "If i tell you, I have to kill you or I'll put you in danger"
LoL, watching too much television.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Actually wanted to blog about my Palapes Laut interview at Port Klang, and I took an oath not to reveal Government secrets...LoL, I'm not sure if the interview is considered Gov Secrets though...so, I'll keep it general and blog about something else.
btw Palapes is an acronym for PAsukan LAtihan PEgawai Simpanan. In English, it means Reserve Officer Training Unit. In Layman's term it's Reserve Soldiers la...I'm in the reserved Navy.
Here's the purpose of the Gov having Palapes in local Uni...In times of emergency or DARURAT, we will be absorbed in the armed force if the Gov doesn't have enough manpower loh.
I passed the interview although i almost purposely tried to fail it by being totally truthful. So, now I'm officially a cadet.
The seniors asked us to buy some of our uniform first by using our own money :'(
The seniors told us to estimate what is our size for some uniform...no measurement, just estimate, sure wrong size loh.
Our shoelaces have to be in a particular pattern.
In the NAVY, everything has to be the same...same shoes, same everything, even notebook and pen has to be the same.
Clothes must always be clean and ironed...Use starch to harden the clothes so that it won't look sloppy.
I can't even do 1 chin up yet. Now it brings new meaning to the sentence "You've got to work for your marks"
I've gotta start training.
My rugby coach said I am showing no improvement. Ouch, need to do something about it, but WHAT? Maybe try kicking or improve balancing or play more catching...main kejar-kejar, so agility improve.
K la, gotta ciow now, got assignment to finish up.