Tuesday, August 30, 2011

hari raya puasa

Hari Raya Aidilfitri/ Hari Raya Puasa...and Merdeka (Independence) combined...so an extra holiday.. all on weekdays so cool la...what a long holiday :)

One friend asked me to go to her open house (all the way in Kelantan) and since I got no gang so nah, not this year. When you come to think about it, It's actually quite funny, take a train ride (ktm) for almost 12 hours at 7pm and then go her house and makan and then take a ktm (another 12 hours) back at 7pm back home alone...that's like either too desperate or nothing much to do, plus the money and time spent going there <--you gotta ask yourself is it worth it? I mean yeah I'll do it if i have a gang or if it's a really best friend or someone who's going to die or someone I haven't meet in such a long time or someone I will not see anymore after this trip or something that has been planned quite sometime already...

I have been spending time doing almost nothing...parasiting and watching dramas online for my holiday.

Suddenly today i remembered that there's a bleep test on the 6th september...aiyah, did I lose my stamina and fitness for being "sedentary" ? The bleep test would be for the selection of the Malaysia women rugby 7s team...7s is limited so have to fight for place but for a 15s game i don't really have to worry yet. OK, i guess I should do some kind of excercise soon...

Yeah, it's a shocker that I now know how to live a sedentary lifestyle thanks to the Indonesia student exchange programme..hihi.

a random physics picture

Monday, August 22, 2011

I GOT it! WoW

hey people, you know what?

I had a wonderful surprise today! One that I never expected...

You see, most people got a phone call last Friday from YTAR (yayasan tunku abdul rahman) at about 9am ish and people who don't get any call are considered that they didn't get the scholarship, after all only 30 people in the whole Malaysia will get it mah. Of cause I was sad since I didn't get any call. My mom told me it's ok, and not to act like I got no mood. My guardian asked me why I cried...(It is that obvious? I cried like 5 hours ago and my eyes still swollen kah?)

So I guessed I was one of the 20 that failed. But today morning, I received a call at 11.40am from YTAR and they told me that I got the scholarship and the paper works will come in my email soon. Whoa! That's really unexpected loh.(Maybe someone rejected the scholarship so that's why I got it late?) But anyways, it's so cool! A real twist in life! :)

I thank You Lord. I'm sure it's you.

Sunday, August 21, 2011


I don't really know how to be a friend...

Ask me and I'll try my best to answer...

Invite me and I'll try my best to join...

When you call, I'll try my best to be there...

But I don't know what to say to comfort you when you're down, upset and angry...

I don't know what to do to cheer you up...

I can lend you my shoulders, 

I can listen and empathize but that's about all I know about being a friend...sad right?

I really wish I knew what to say or what to do but I really don't...

If you need my help, I'll try my best to help you physically and materially...

Friday, August 19, 2011


Owh, sedihnya saya pada minggu ini.
Saya tak dapat menghadiri latihan ragbi kerana sedang menolong mak,
Saya tidak dapat jogging bersama kawan-kawan kerana mak minta saya balik.
Saya tidak berjaya dapat biasiswa Yayasan Tunku Abdul Rahman.
Saya terserempak dengan wallpost MRU yang agak mencemarkan nama Dingoes.

Biasiswa YTAR
Walaupun saya telah cuba sedaya upaya dan sebaik mungkin tetapi nampaknya saya tidak cukup hebat untuk mendapat biasiswa ini. Ya, saya agak sedih namun saya tahu yang saya telah memberi my best dan that there's nothing that I could have done better. At least I know that I won't regret that I went for the interview and went all the way...
Oh well, I did my best. Guess I wasn't good enough.
So, buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih: Pengalaman yang saya dapat sepanjang proses pemilihan dan sesi temuramah tidak akan dilupai oleh saya.

Inspirational quotes from the internet...
The past should be the past. It can destroy the future. Live life for what tomorrow has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away.
Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. 
Sometimes you forgive people simply because you still want them in your life
Failure is not an excuse not to trust yourself.
It's hard to wait around for something you know won't happen, but it's even harder to stop waiting when you know it's everything you want.
alright, so after a few hours of being sad, i got to get back up again.
For some of you, you know that I'm a sore loser aka kiasu as in once I lose something I give up on it and don't ever want to go through it.

For instance when i lost in standard 6 in the 100m (I got 2nd place) then I stop running 100 meters and took up long distance in secondary school. I took up open runs as long as I got position, certificate and medal but once I didn't get a position I changed to walking. Just like that, each time I lose I will totally stop and change. SORE LOSER right? That's why I'm so kiasu, DON'T wanna lose.

but this time, I wanna change, I don't want to give up. Just as the quote above "Failure is NOT an excuse to not trust yourself"

So in a way the scholarship application gave me the courage to believe in myself,  I want to prove to myself that I'm worth it. I am somebody. All my life I've been looking down on myself, telling myself don't ever dream of applying for a scholarship, You can't do much in life.

I know I failed and didn't get it but yeah, I've gained a bit of confidence and self esteem in myself...

Funnily, I was actually quite confident that I would get it but failed..LoL, you know the other time that I was very confident on something was in Form 5; the sports house captain-ship, but that also was a sudden fail. I guess next time I should not be confident that I'll succeed, just a Hope would be sufficient, Don't make it a SURE, just a HOPE.

It has been my philosophy, don't aim too high, you'll just end up with disappointment if you fail. Aim low so you will achieve it in reality and you won't be surprised if things don't go your way since you already "expected it"

"Never break four things in your life - TRUST, RELATION, PROMISE & HEART because when they break, they dont make noise but pains a lot..." Charles Dickens

Thursday, August 11, 2011

medal finally here

Yesterday I went home to take some stuffs and I found a package for me...I was surprised and curious.
It was my personalized long forgotten medal! LoL, My bible knowledge (BK) Rosie Cheah Award -medal.

here's the old post about the rosie cheah award. P/s: click on the "here's"

The Rosie Cheah BK Postal Quiz Award P/s: click on "the rosie cheah bk postal quiz award"
This award hopes to encourage and bless students who excel in the BK Postal Quiz and thus contribute to promoting the SPM Bible Knowledge paper.  Students who have taken the BK Postal Quiz for two consecutive years (starting from year 2006) and attained the score of Highly Commendable qualify for this award. 

well, I won this award in 2009 because of my 2008 and 2009 BK postal quiz...I was one of the Top 3 for both years. I couldn't really go for the free camp because I guess I was over-aged? or I didn't really bother cause I was lazy. Anyway, I waited for the medal till 2010 and then just forgot about it.

And yeah, so today's post will be about how timely this medal came.

It's like : I thought you forgotten me and I thought I'll never see you again. <--me saying to the medal. Waited so long ma...So I gave up on the thought of ever seeing you. BUT then now He answers "I have never forgotten you and never had. I never gave up on you and I have been watching you from afar all this while." <--(I changed address ma, so thought it's over)

You see, I've been slacking in my spiritual life. Some call it burn out, some call it wilderness and some say back slide? Some say lost the passion and some say lost the first love.

And this started at form 6, due to a sin I indulged myself in. I started floating away from God, feeling ashamed to go near Him. So I ignored and abandoned Him. 

Yet everyday I still saw His fingerprints in my life, I saw Him working in my life, I saw His blessings and knew He is still watching over me. I was longing to let go of His hand but wishing that He would not let go of me...

I finally took a look at myself in the mirror and realised i can't be indulging in this sin forever, it's sinful, and destroying my life, i felt really disgusted and ashamed of myself and it was really tough trying to come out of it but it was do-able. Despite coming out of it, i still couldn't bring myself to go back to God, I felt really ashamed, not worthy, dirty, and I was away for too long that I thought that I just can't go back to Him. I couldn't trust myself anymore, I believed in Him and I knew He is faithful; I believed in Him but I didn't believe in me. "I know He loves me so much, but do I love Him?"

So i filled up my life trying to be as busy as I can in order to avoid people, church and God. I used "I'm busy" as an excuse. Just trying to live my life as secluded as I could. 

And then just a week ago, Unexpected people had been talking to me about my spiritual walk. All nudging me and encouraging me to not give up on God, to come back...Like the story of the prodigal son...
I feel like a stumbling block cause I feel like I was a role model and now I am a black sheep.
For every reason I gave to my friends, they could counter it. 
All of them having more faith in me than myself; they believe in me more than i believe in myself.

"You can struggle but don't give up, tahan"

"Sometimes you have to go through the wilderness, God allows it but He sees us through it"

"sometimes He lets us experience stuff so that we understand, God doesn't trick us into loving Him nor does He force us to love Him. He wants us to see Him for who He really is so we can love Him and I can tell you that He loves you and you love Him. It's just that faith is hard, building it is a process, and you can't take shortcuts."

"Maybe you can try being more sincere or honest with God. Don't try and give God an impression of who you are. Just let Him see you for exactly who you are..exactly what you are. When He sees us, we're all naked so we shouldn't try and act up. Just give yourself as you are and let Him be"

      Friday, August 5, 2011

      Even more pic

      nasi kucing

      more pics

      alun-alun kidul, INDONESIA'S I-CITY
      Aerobic friday mornings...quite laku wor

      agility test

      bleep test

      Diatry at Borobudor

      extreme sports at the seaside

      makan on d floor is their culture

      floor of fallen flowers, feels like autumn
      candi prambanan
      dolls in museum benteng

      full prambanan
      Wong at top level of borobudor
      ruins bcoz of volcano

      Thursday, August 4, 2011

      pictures from Indonesia student exchange program UNY-UM

      my batch


      all the girls and Titis in the centre

      Titis and Henny in the middle

      candi borobudor, must wear sarong :)

      Indonesia batik, UNESCO world heritage

      candi prambanan

      candi prambanan

      seaside...really windy, huge waves.

      making badminton shuttle cocks

      sports therapy lecturer, Pak Ali 

      the sports therapy clinic

      Sukan Mahasiswa Malaysia-Indonesia

      measuring VO2 max