Friday, December 28, 2012


This semester I had an assignment which was quite simple but I felt that if I were to refer to the notes given by the lecturer it would be plagiarism. So, I re-did my assignment about 2 more times till I felt less guilty and to add on to my confidence I uploaded the assignment in TurnItIn and the similarities was only 15 %, 
I'm not sure if that's considered high or not but I was expecting about 80% or more. So, I'm happy.

I searched up some information online which I thought could be relevant, then I was happy with myself for being creative! :)

After that, I incorporated some of my past lecture notes into the assignment and it made me feel much relevant cause I could use the information I have obtained in the past and relate it to my present assignment thus making good use of those information.

I feel great with my assignment...Well, I hope all that hardwork and brainjuice to think of examples, think what would be relevant, think how to link things, think of content and drawing up the skeleton before I did the full assignment will make me have an original and awesome assignment. My thinking effort...LoL

I feel okay if people wanna refer to my notes but I hope they won't take away my originality and brainjuice effort and dump it in their assignment cause then there goes my assignment which has the same example as everybody else and my research become a common point and my linking of past subjects becomes a normal thing. 

I like to refer to other people's work and most of the time I would give them credit by citing the reference. 

Am I jealous because I put so much effort in something but everyone else benefits from it? Am I angry because in the end I'm actually not okay to let people refer to my notes? Does this make me a selfish person? Maybe I would like to be acknowledged that it is I that compiled those information together? Please cite me...LoL, Recognize and Acknowledge me...Or better still, Don't Plagiarize, thank you very much.
It's someone's hardwork and you just take it and claim that it's yours?

I've been caught for copying in primary school standard 1. 
I've been caught for letting others copy in secondary school, Form 5 by my school headmistress.
So, maybe that's why I'm scared of plagiarism?

Saturday, December 22, 2012

everything's there for a purpose.

Hey people, this post is gonna be a bit unsuitable for innocent people but informative for 12 hour sports events athletes.
uncle Oliver and me at the finishing line. :)
12 hour walk is over but the effects of it still isn't over. The chafe (Become or make sore by or as if by rubbing/Tear or wear off the skin or make sore by abrading/Soreness and warmth caused by friction) from the 12 hour walk is still here. Too much friction by skin rubbing against each other.

Last year and previously in Melaka, the chafe was lesser, it was just near the armpit part. Abang Omar taught me to put lotion to decrease the friction, he said vaseline is the best. Sore feet was more intolerable last year compared to this year. 

I thought it was my half sleeveless t-shirt that cause the skin irritation near my armpit so this year i wore full sleeveless but it didn't change anything.

This year, the chafe at the armpit was lesser since I kept applying lotion near my armpit every 4 hours. But there were chafe in other part of my body this year. I had chafe near my inner thigh and bottom and surprisingly under my chest. I experienced less sore feet this year because I changed my shoelace according to which part of my foot felt uncomfortable. Click here for tips on tying shoelaces.

As for the chafe near my chest, it was due to unsuitable sports ladies, if you choose to go for a long period sport, please choose a sports bra which is not too loose nor too tight because the friction of the bra material to your body will create chafe. The effect is not felt during the competition but it is a post-event effect.

After some research on the internet, i found put that the inner tight chafe was due to me shaving my pubic hair. And the chafe near the armpit was due to me shaving my armpit hair. 

So, following this revelation, I found out that the natural things God gives us all has functions. All the hair God gave us is not just decoration but to help prevent chafe, abrasion, lessen friction and of cause more hygienic. In addition to that,  it's our body's first line of defense too.

Pubic hair does have a purpose,  providing cushion against friction that can cause skin abrasion and injury,  protection from bacteria and other unwanted pathogens, and is the visible result of long awaited adolescent hormones, certainly nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. FYI sexual intercourse without pubic hair is more like skin rubbing against skin therefore friction that may bring chafe...

HPV injection. the 1st dose was ok, no pain but numb for a while.
The 2nd dose was pain and the numbness was longer.
Next year i'll take the 3rd injection.

Monday, December 17, 2012

sukmum and putrajaya

it's really been a super duper busy month full of sports.

Hoki SUKMUM first then Putrajaya 12 hour Walk.

Last week I went for the 12 hour walk in Putrajaya. I went there with JohnBen and James.
Met Michelle Chai there too. This year I didn't walk in the style but just a normal walk. My Fastest 1 km was about 8 minutes, while my normal walk was in 12 minutes.
me and JohnBen

The first 2 hours is crucial since it's the when you are the freshest. After that, your time will start to lag. My aim is 18 or 19 place as usual. This year was the first time I didn't feel sleepy. I followed Oliver Ker's pace all the way to reach at least 74km...Oliver's pace was about 9 minutes.

me and Oliver

I rested a few minutes after 2 hours. drank a lot of isotonic drinks, drank a red bull and lotsa water, I also ate while walking. This is the first time I actually ate a lot during the competition.

About 4 am, there was no judges, all went to rest. This is my first time no Disqualified of any rounds...WooHoO!

At about 4.30am I could follow the professional walker pace, maybe cause they were tired. Once I follow their pace, my mental told me don't even think of resting cause you will lose the rhythm..their slow pace was about 7 minutes.

I did 76km with the "angels" and motivaters God sent to encourage me to walk fast....everytime I want to stop/slow down or rest, there was some sort of motivator to push me on so I outdid myself and very surprising I got 9th position instead of 19th or 18th position. That's double of what I expected. WoW!

Sukmum Olahraga...Hidayat was the manager and he never sms or called me for any training. He just put my name in 800m and relay...Wah, so wasted many other acara but he let 5th kosong. I wanted lompat jauh but he said full already. Last year I got medal for 1500m but he choose to put 2 juniors.

On Sukmum day, i found out the girl who he enter for lompat jauh never lompat jauh before and she didn't even practise lompat jauh...Argh!!!!

Then the two girls who ran 1500m, one got 3rd place and another got 7th place... The girl who got 7th place if It was me, I think I can get medal lorh...

4x100m relay. SO rugi la...we got 2nd place but disqualified since we pass before the changing zone...Come on, I'm running, so the next runner has the responsibility of looking at the zone ma...first I thought maybe she gonna run that's why she stand behind yellow line. But she didn't run at all, just stand at the line...Just move one feet then can pass the line edy but she didn't and I as runner who overtook and gain so much advantage cannot think edy whether that yellow line is the starting line or the ending line of the interchange zone....Adui.

4x400m, I just jog all the way and slowly cut everybody. For the heats our time was the fastest. Maybe cause Sarah Choong and Mei Yee didn't run. But in the finals, we got 3rd...Maybe cause I couldn't bring my mind to sprint at the end.
my 4x400m team

4x400 relay champs

800m. I wasn't really expecting anything but I got 3rd place. I was just 1 foot behind Mei Yee. If the length was 801meters then sure I win. But I'm really surprised that I could catch up with Mei Yee so I can imagine that if 1500meter, Can I beat Mei Yip?

When I saw the 400m, I was so angry with Hidayat, Come on, even I can run faster than all of them...Gosh!

This year no walking so no gold medal for me...argh! Walking was cancelled because of time and money constrains from HEP since this year HEP is handling SUKMUM instead of Pusat Sukan.

My new friend Pui Kwan from 9th college, business student

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

silat,MASPS, ASCoN, softball

Silat friendly competition at UKM...
Me and Fast

My first time playing silat olahraga. I couldn't predict which opponent leg will attack/kick so I couldn't block. I was too emotional so I played a very lousy game...

First impression was good- the opponent was scared of me but after seeing my punching and kicking skills can know that I'm a first timer. LoL.
Rewatching my match, I feel so ashamed of my kicks and punches it looked so ridiculous like a sissy punching and kicking.

Malam Anugerah Sukan Pusat Sukan

Montaj included sukipt..10 gold where 5 gold from swimming but no picture or mention of swimming. Wah, swimmers terasa doh! The gimmick was done fully in dark room that we all couldn't see the gimmick. I got anugerah...yay! Lencana Penuh.

Masum Sukan Pantai, I wanna go but the opportunity cost is my wheelchair rugby experience. So I choose to sacrifice masum sukan pantai, Larian Pantai. UM girls group got 4th. All new people. UM guys group got 3rd but Amirul was individual champion. All new guys, if Amirul got 1st but overall get 3rd...means the new guys are really lousy or the other uni can run really fast as a team.
For the girls so rugi because 4th placing out of 4 university. Last year we were quite lousy but out of about 10 teams we got 3rd placing overall.
Click ->result to see last year's result

ASCoN volunteer. Asian Spinal Cord Network Games...Active Camp and Skills. Morning learn how to choose a proper wheelchair.Then as warm up go around the basketball court in circles.Fast and slow. Then played TAG then played Catch the tail, catch the tail caterpillar, then wheelchair race, then moving skills-front, back, side. Balance and jump. how to bounce up when falling backwards. jumping obstacles, going through cones. Going up and down stairs. play ping pong.
Playing basketball on wheelchair means u are lower, so need more strength to score. Moving with wheelchair is very tiring. Hands must be strong.
Suppose to have wheelchair rugby but changed into wheelchair basketball...

Softball Sukmum
Best Umpire :)
clean catch :)

I can't really catch Saly's ball. I'm too slow and I can't see when the ball goes behind. Not many clean catch and very lousy throwing skills gave the opportunity to other teams to steal base and come home...Argh!!!

A new umpire thin dark malay guy...he was a lousy umpire. all the teams that he refereed didn't like him..his judgement is very terrible. Ball call strikes, strikes as ball, safe and die, die as safe, illegal pitch don't call, good pitch call illegal pitch, ask behind whether ball or strike, foul ball and ball dead don't know...Adoi!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

fomdex summer holiday

Palapes FOMDEX-Fizikal orientated Mental Development Exercise. It was suppose to be in Gunung Nuang but due to "No budget" excuse we had the training at markas Palapes UM aka HQ whereby we shared the facilities with the Army.

5.30am Early Morning Activity (EMA). New PTI, we jog up bukit cinta until 10 residential college then returned back to the HQ. We had Latihan Litar (same like KDSI), and latihan JEDA (Pyramid run).
8am watches, Mail check us but gave us 10 push up each just for fun while Mia didn't give anything to the Cadets...HAIZ..after that we got a set of 20s as a team. Kadets only got a set of 25? Hey! Cadets standard is 30 ok...haiz...Everyday we kena more than our cadets because GI don't allow his precious cadets to be touched.

Evening Activity(EA) was usually Volleyball. Once we did bola beracun, something like dodgeball.

Our makan was prepared by the army...Army, the juniors wash the seniors plate but in the Navy, our seniors wash our own plate cause our GI(General Instructor) sayang our junior so much that our juniors all already upgrade to BRAVO routine even though they are still cadets and not yet naik pangkat to junior midshipmen. Haiz... We all still ALPHA routine, run and kawad when we move around especially when there's no roof.
Our Cadet's movement is so slow and they really like to take their own sweet time. All this because our GI don't let us take(hell/punish) our Cadets. Can you imagine Seniors run, baca sifir and kawad, cadets walk and no kawad and no baca sifir? Cadets don't fear senior or even respect senior, they insult and talkdown on seniors...I'm thinking IS THIS PALAPES? Very RUDE but we cannot touch them...
Even serving food to officer and GI, senior are the ones that notice and do it while cadets don't even care about others...really no respect and keprihatinan.

I really wander who is the cadet and who is the senior? Seriously our GI's bias-ness to the Cadet is so evident. GI also scold us cause to many mustering(kumpul) and GI scold seniors and said senior should do things, not ask Cadet to do "everything"...
Our army also confused who are the cadets and who are the seniors. Now it's more like Cadet is subby, Senior Midshipmen can FLY.

Basically this FOMDEX training is very light, very Summer Holiday...cause of our GI. can you imagine your GI saying Hockey Deck is dangerous? rempuh halangan and jalan lasak is dangerous? He don't let anybody take the cadets, always scold senior and subby in front of cadets and seriously bias? Dirty and heavy job he ask Senior to do? We had plenty of free time since GI hates us to Muster.

At KDSI we muster about more than 20 times and each muster takes at least 10 muster is good as training for KDSI but GI doesn't like us to muster.

When we were cadets, cadets had to kumpul and shout "ALL OUT(officer under training) MUSTER NOW" but our cadets so relaxed, nothing to worry...very Subby-like of attitude.

Our Cadets don't know mark of respect or pemerintahan regimental...they take things so lightly and take their own time cause they know GI sayang them. Anything also they complain straight to GI...

Our cadets is so gedik, they went back to college to take extra shoes. Seniors all wear back the same shoes. When squad leader and senior don't let, GI allowed cadets to go back to 5th residential college to take other sports shoes. When we were cadets we were only allowed to wear kasut issue even though the size is huge...but these cadets, GI allow to wear other shoes besides issue shoes or white shoes which should be standardized...

I feel like our cadet is not in PALAPES but better they enter SUKSIS...cause in Suksis, cannot take/punish them. They didn't kena from us so much that they really don't behave like PALAPES. So berani to jawab balik and complain terus to GI.

Our cadets like to show mental face, they don't know how to hide their mental face, keep showing people their weakness...really lembik and low mental strength.

I miss GI Nasir, he was very fair and not bias.

Classes on general navigation and morse code. Kawad bersenjata, normal kawad and swimming.

Our new PTI(physical Training Instructor) is from ALAM (Akademi Laut Malaysia), he's very good, he just taught our cadets and in one day all our cadets can swim at least to the middle of the swimming pool.

[ALAM is the abbreviation for Akademi Laut Malaysia or Malaysian Maritime Academy, a
maritime institution which trains SPM leavers to become deck officers or marine engineers
onboard merchant ships.]

On the first few days we shared the sleeping place with the army in the hall. Guys slept in the surau outside.
After that navy ladies were asked to shift to the army's inter room but there were army seniors using that room so the navy ladies went to the surau inside but then the lady armies went there too to we had no room. It's UM markas PALAPES but in reality more like Markas Palapes Darat... Navy don't have a room for it's own..all we have is a storeroom and GI's room and staf gaji's room. Rest all belong to the Army. We don't even have a classroom..

Last night we had a very light jalan lasak. more to PT(physical training) like front support and rolling, push ups and swimming across the tasik. The group with GI was so boring cause the Subby was not allowed to take them, so that group just walked like taking a leisure walk around UM, while other groups had a bit more challenging activities such as bridging, rolling, front support and so on...

During the jalan lasak when our subby or PTI ask us to volunteer, actually I don't want to volunteer but I was thinking of my team mates, they are more weak than me and I am the strongest female there, so if I kena I can still take it and tolerate but if them I don't know whether they can tahan, So I volunteer to kena all the tough tough things.

This reminded me of the advise I once told another palapes girl...The burden on me is heavy since I'm the strongest and fittest female in my intake. If I give up, the other girls will think "Tengok, Hilda pun tak boleh tahan,  kita orang yang tak apa-apa ni lagilah tak boleh"

I have to be strong for them or not they will give up on themselves. Actually they can tahan cause their mental strength is strong but physically they rely on me. If I can do it then there is hope that they can do it...If I give up then their mind automatically shuts down and give up even thought in reality they can do it.

Whenever I want to just give up or belit, I have to think what impact will it do to my intake...

Taking the log while jalan lasak reminded me of Iron team where we ran in drill boots, 6kg backpack while doing the obstacle course.

Do you wanna know the reason why GI so sayang the cadets? Cause when he was in training to become GI, he was the youngest therefore everything also he was to do...
But now, if everything also senior do, cadets don't go through Cadet Life no more Cadet can fly and really hancur...they straight away feel subby life without going through Cadet or Junior or senior midshipmen life. Mark of respect and pemerintahan regimental is totally lost...everything also show mental face. Slow slow slow, no ALPHA routine means no Cadet life.

If they don't experience Cadet life, how are they gonna teach their cadet? then better Palapes change to Bomba or Polis instead of the Tentera label.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

judge before lawyer

Where can you find a judge before a lawyer? Dictionary cause J before L :)
In which court can you find someone who become a judge without becoming a lawyer? In a badminton court :)

I was a volunteer for SUKIPT (SUKan Institusi Pengajian Tinggi) badminton. Sukipt is a sports competition as a selection for the ASEAN University Games(AUG) in Laos this december. So, there is participation by community colleges, local and private universities, polytechnics, basically all tertiary education institutions.

My job was a Line Judge...ah, I'm a judge in a court without even having to be a lawyer...hihi.
Badminton court lines and shuttlecock was what I had to look at throughout my service as a line judge.

I don't know why but I feel very sleepy being a line judge, maybe I'm not so interested in Badminton? A comment from the Umpire and referees was that I did a really good job as a Line judge on the first day.  All the Umpire and Referee praised me, they said I was alert and very professional.. LoL, the Best line judge for Day 1.

Anyway, the job started on Sunday evening after PKV's "THE Camp". We started by fixing the masking tape on the badminton courts at night. The next day we were briefed which line to judge and what signals to give as well as how to walk in and out of the court. T-shirts sizes was a problem cause the organizer just gave equal amounts of each t-shirt size. This might be the organizer's strategy to force volunteers to buy sukipt shirts..hihi.

moved the badminton courts, watch lines, do signals... of cause i made a few mistakes and i feel really embarrassed but overall it went well. We only got 3 signals; in, out and didn't see.

About 8 days of volunteering...

Next topic,
On Sunday, I went for the Silat Gayong ceremony of taking students...apparently it's call mandi tapak/mandi seni/ mandi perlimau.
Seated by age seniority and write our name with mothers name (nama binti mak) on the ikrar paper then had prayers then the Atuk told our characters-for me," i want to lead but have to put in more effort in it", then we choose a lime. The Atuk cut sliced the lime and counted how many pulp it has and recorded it down then  we mandi bunga and limau nipis (Lime)...then prayers and drink some water, then the Atuk used a 500 years old sword and hit our wrist non stop. For the girls only 3 girls were chosen, the rest is on volunteer basis. He suppose to hit 7 times only...but some he hit less and some he hit more...he said he hit based on how much we can take in-teachers know how much the students can take.

If we are sinful, the effect of the hit would be evident but if we are clean and sinless the wrist will have no evident at all of the sword.

i was hit 5 times, there was only 4 lines was evident cause of the double hit on a line and it looks like I got gills on my wrist, LoL. My lime was 11 with a dot.

Then was Q and A...
We asked about the counting of limes and why the 3 girls are chosen..
The 3 girls chosen were the most charismatic and outstanding ones and this is the first time the atuk meet them and there was no interaction between us and the atuk before he talk about our characteristics and the choosing of the 3 lucky ones.
He said the 3 lucky girls were the one whose aura is similar to him...woah...
Then the lime is reading how much teacher has to teach us...
if 11 with a dot means when teacher teach, i can understand but if I do not practise or revise I will forget.
12 means have to teach more than once for them to understand thea teaching. 13 means catches the teaching very fast but after a while forget what was taught. Dot means the lime pulp were not in a perfect circle shape.

Atuk said Silat without religion will make Silat bad. But Silat is actually just a adat. It is for self defence and not fighting. Silat is from the word Silaturahim which means we are all brothers and sisters now.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

T.H.E CAMP or The Hottest Ever Camp organized by PKV or Persaudaraan Kristian Varsiti...

Initially I didn't plan to go but somehow a vision of Swee Kit was haunting me and telling me to go for camp...I mean she has been trying to get me to church or Christian camp from my first year to my fourth semester. This is my fifth semester and she's retired from being a SUFES or Scripture Union Fellowship of Evangelical technically I didn't see her or contact her this semester but somehow in my heard I hear her voice telling me to go for camp...LoL...

So, last minute I registered myself for the camp.
I overslept and was late for the camp...

Camp was at Broga...theme was N.O.W or No Other Way.
Pastor Daniel Tan from SIBKL

1st day lecture on Hearing God's voice. How does He speak? How to hear His voice and How to recognize His voice.
Speaks through Word/bible, Prayer, People, Dreams/visions/signs, circumstances, audible voice. 
Hear through seeking, surrender, still/silent,Stay(wait patiently,don't rush)
Recognize by spending time, if your heart is not right you might hear wrongly, to hear whisper you gotta be near the person.

Morning devotion day 2 reminded me of who I use to be and the people I knew, the heart I had for "special people". I prayed to God when I was younger that I wanted to be an Andrew instead of other apostles cause Andrew's just brought people to God. And God did answer my prayer but the people I brought were not so ordinary, they had some sort of special attitudes in life that annoyed others, make others look down on them and sort of discriminate them. I used to have a special heart for them, pity and wanna reach out to them but when I brought them to church, the people in church didn't really like it and kinda influence me till I started feeling that to layan this sort of person is burdensome and I started feeling ashamed of them and myself. But in my heart I thought, it's this kind of people that God loves and called us to I stop being an instrument of God and stop being an Andrew cause seriously all the people that God send to my way was  weird, stalk-type, annoying, rough, some type of downsyndrom mentality or just has a hateful personality. 
Maybe cause they never experienced enough love or there was no one to guide them? Mostly are from broken families.

Session 2 was on narrow gate and wide gate. narrow way need to find, put in effort, few enter and you find Life but broad way is easy, common, user-friendly, wide, can carry old baggage, compromise, no need to find the way, you will find destruction. 
People rather be wrong than to be correct and alone (Peer pressure experiment of which line is longest)
Darkness prevails because light refuse to shine(they hide under the bowl). You can switch on the Light but you cannot switch on the Darkness. 
According to Leviticus 10:10 HOLY is the opposite of Common. 
Narrow original word "Thlibo"  use feet to press grape juice/wine. If u choose narrow way, u will be stepped on. Jesus could choose easy path but He choose to be persecuted, beaten and crucified.
Narrow way have to be found do need effort.
Only can be saved through HIM. The word THROUGH is the means/reason by which something is done. 
Jesus is my glasses, I cannot see clearly without my glasses. See through the fruits of the spirit then heart will be changed.
Old testament is Law...don't do/commit. Law doesn't change us.
New testament is think CHRIST-like...don't think. Thinking changes our heart.

Workshop DRCAB, or CPR. It's the unconscious ones that you need to attend first medically cause it's the most critical.
Urgency to reach out. We take for granted that our friends will live long and hope that others will help the people cause we don't see the urgency. We are in campus for only a limited time , it's our natural setting and we got contacts, Probably it's our only chance to reach out to them cause we might be the only Christ Ambassador they know.

Session 3 Disturb us, Lord. Life is very precious even a dog's life cause it's a life. Don't be so busy with your ministry that you forget the meaning of the ministry. Little bit of time and money can  mean something to others, I cannot change the whole world but I can change the whole world of one person. Life is short so the best use of life is to live for a cause bigger than yourself.
God can heal the world, stop evil and make the world a better place in one snap but if He did that, what would we do then? what is the church function? God didn't cause He wanna give us a chance to participate, be a part of the cause/effort.
God disturbs us in a progress. He asks us to start small, then go deeper and finally surrender all.
Jesus never waited for opportunity to arrive but he was attentive/aware to the opportunity around.
Peter and John's boat so full of fish that boats about to sink-if their eyes were on success they would sink. Their eyes were fixed on Jesus, they were willing to leave everything behind...biggest catch in their life also.

morning devotion day 3 reminded Jesus is all we need. When you're alone, you don't have anything, no physical  material...see beyond the physical, Life is beyond wealth, material and when you think you are alone, remember that God will not leave nor forsake you.

session 4 when Jesus talks, He doesn't waste words. Jesus said He WILL build HIS Church and the gates of hell cannot overcome it. Church is the pillar and foundation of the truth. (cannot exist without pillar or foundation)
So many social problems.We must do something or not, can you imagine in the future our children open their textbooks and see that prostitution is a LEGAL profession? Can you imagine your child ambition is to be a pornstar? In New Zeland prostitution is already a legal profession.
Don't do good works to convert people but do it cause you genuinely care for them hence living out the gospel. Give only what you have not what you don't have, Jesus only ask of what you have, not what you don't have. You shine by loving others genuinely then people will see Jesus and praise God in heaven. if you wanna shine, focus on what you have-time, money, effort, lending a hand. Stretch your hand to show you accept, lift others up...Restore dignity, not just donate. 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish-give what you got and God will use it to do's not the quantity size but giving whatever you have.
It's never too late. The power of togetherness :)

Baby Erik and the old man

A story I heard in THE CAMP.

a true story...

We were the only family with children in the restaurant. I sat Erik in a high chair and noticed everyone was quietly eating and talking. Suddenly, Erik squealed with glee and said, "Hi there." He pounded his fat baby hands on the highchair tray. His eyes were wide with excitement and his mouth was bared in a toothless grin. He wriggled and giggled with merriment.

I looked around and saw the source of his merriment. It was a man with a tattered rag of a coat; dirty, greasy and worn. His pants were baggy with a zipper at half-mast and his toes poked out of would-be shoes. His shirt was dirty and his hair was uncombed and unwashed. His whiskers were too short to be called a beard and his nose was so varicose it looked like a road map. We were too far from him to smell, but I was sure he smelled.

His hands waved and flapped on loose wrists. "Hi there, baby; hi there, big boy. I see ya, buster," the man said to Erik. My husband and I exchanged looks, "What do we do?" Erik continued to laugh and answer, "Hi, hi there." Everyone in the restaurant noticed and looked at us and then at the man. The old geezer was creating a nuisance with my beautiful baby.

Our meal came and the man began shouting from across the room, "Do ya know patty cake? Do you know peek-a-boo? Hey, look, he knows peek-a-boo."
Nobody thought the old man was cute. He was obviously drunk. My husband and I were embarrassed. We ate in silence; all except for Erik, who was running through his repertoire for the admiring skid-row bum, who in turn, reciprocated with his cute comments.

We finally got through the meal and headed for the door. My husband went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the parking lot. The old man sat poised between me and the door. "Lord, just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Erik," I prayed.
As I drew closer to the man, I turned my back trying to side-step him and avoid any air he might be breathing. As I did, Erik leaned over my arm, reaching with both arms in a baby's "pick-me-up" position.

Before I could stop him, Erik had propelled himself from my arms to the man's. Suddenly a very old smelly man and a very young baby consummated their love relationship. Erik in an act of total trust, love, and submission laid his tiny head upon the man's ragged shoulder. The man's eyes closed, and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes. His aged hands full of grime, pain, and hard labor-gently, so gently, cradled my baby's bottom and stroked his back.

No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so short a time. I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Erik in his arms for a moment, and then his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm commanding voice, "You take care of this baby," Somehow I managed, "I will," from a throat that contained a stone. He pried Erik from his chest-unwillingly, longingly, as though he were in pain. I received my baby, and the man said, "God bless you, ma'am, you've given me my Christmas gift."

I said nothing more than a muttered thanks. With Erik in my arms, I ran for the car. My husband was wondering why I was crying and holding Erik so tightly, and why I was saying, "My God, my God, forgive me."

I had just witnessed Christ's love shown through the innocence of a tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment; a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes. I was a Christian who was blind, holding a child who was not. I felt it was God asking- "Are you willing to share your son for a moment?" -- when He shared His for all eternity.
The ragged old man, unwittingly, had reminded me, "To enter the Kingdom of God, we must become as little children."

Thursday, October 25, 2012

It's been a really tiring semester... 23 credit hour plus 6 hours of mandarin classes and the silly SERU program. Seru is student empowerment research unit which sends us to ceramah and softskills workshops which are WAJIB! It took all my fridays and saturdays...9am to 5pm...Gosh, there was no warning or whatsoever that my fridays and saturdays do not belong to me this semester.

The University should have informed us earlier, not just bombard us ambush style and suddenly make it compulsory and then scold us for not going...come on, you didn't even give us a heads up! Apparently if we don't go we will face some problems when we graduate, they wanna hold our degree? WHAT! so silly I tell you. UM should have made it open so that whoever wanna go can go instead of making it mandatory for those who don't want to go.... Not everyone is free on friday and saturday you know...

This semester I joined Silat Gayong...The first class was fun and we learned a lot. 8pm until midnight...

I feel this semester is really heavy cause once more we have mr Nizam teaching us 2 subjects. Mr Nizam Nordin's assignments are heavy and his test are quite heavy.

Taking elective course like gender is a suicide mission. The lecturer doesnt give marks easily and the assignment is heavy too.

well, I do hope I will be able to maintain first class this semester.

Of cause another worrisome thing is i'm having dr Wirdati class again. The last time I had a B minus for her subject and it was a 4 credit hour subject so that really pulled my CGPA down.

It's a very tiring situation, I fall asleep in almost every class.

And Yes, I do see Pandelela in UM about once a week but No, I don't talk to her...Don't know what to say...LoL. By the way, she's taller than me... LoL, this semester only I realised I am actually quite short...

Thursday, October 4, 2012

fittest to fit-less

I have always been athletic since young...I love sports, outdoor activities, extreme sports and camps...
But now, most of the people who used to be less athletic than me are NOW more athletic than me and so much more fit...

Years ago, this people wouldn't even join sports day but now I see them actively participating in many sports  activities almost every week. Their lifestyle is so much more active than me and their fitness surpassed me.

I can't bring myself to accept this yet..I mean I USED to be more fit than all of them but now they are at least twice fitter than me.

I know it's a good thing but maybe I'm jealous? LoL.

it's also the same with studies...I used to be the top student for that subject in the past but now I am like a noob in that subject...

I guess time can change passion and reverse roles. Ultimately this confirms my life philosophy that Life is a Reverse Psychology. What you expect to last will not last, what you expect will never happen will happen, as I said before Life is a cruel joke...In the end, the positive conclusion you can make from here is People CAN change to be better. So, don't be too comfortable, complacent or take things for granted as everything can change...sometimes so slowly that you don't realise the change is happening.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

full time student

This year my parents have been showing signs of old age...

My father went about 8 rounds around mont kiara to find the way out...he didn't want to listen to me so we ended going around mont kiara 8 times...Argh! Waste time and petrol.

My mom have been sewing wrongly.
When she drives, her logic is not really working. At the toll area, she asks me where to go while she drives to the red-lighted toll booth (the toll booth with a cross). Many times, there is only one way that is allowed while other paths are closed with either signboards, red trafficlight or cones...but my mom still drives that way...Even road signboards and U-turns, she drives confidently and we end up missing the turn or going somewhere else.

I feel afraid to let my mom drive around. Either she can't see the road signsboards and toll booth lights but don't want to admit or her logic is not working?

Therefore I finally decided that I must take up driving license for the sake of my mom(maybe next sem).I use to think I don't need to take my driving lisence yet because I can walk or take lrt and I don't really need to drive around...

Next topic...Full Time Student and I mean it...
I'm a full time student in UM...Originally Tuesdays is a crazy long day cause I have 13 hours of studies with no break in between. 8am all the way to 9pm.

8am-10am info technology management in sports
10am-12pm sports marketing
12pm-2pm sport tourism
2pm-4pm sports finance
4pm-6pm gender and sexuality
6pm-9pm mandarin class

mon, tues and thurs all start with 8am class and goes straight until 6pm on mp
mon, wed, fri got futsal training from 8.30pm-10.45pm
tues and thurs got mandarin class at 6pm-9pm

that means every night i'm back after 9pm...wah, exhausting.

Stock up buns in my bag and eat in class?, some of us curi masa to eat lunch cause cannot tahan.

This week is the add and drop week so we talk to the lecturers and try to change the timings.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

palapes promo

Promosi palapes UM during minggu haluansiswa (freshie orientation week)

We came in on 1st September 2012, a day before the freshies entered university...only 5 senior navy(including me), about 12 senior army.
Jamuan Raya at markas palapes UM (UM Palapes headquarters) then meeting.

I was under the statistic department. Palapes Laut (navy) and Palapes Darat (army) combined.
Army target 600 freshies while Navy just targeted 70 freshies. Navy can only take a maximum of 40 recruits per intake or year because only Navy's training is combined with a few other university and a Ship can only take so much.

We'll be campaigning or promoting the whole minggu haluansiswa...

Just found out that PM's (Pembantu Mahasiswa, the facilitators) don't like PALAPES cause palapes is seen as a threat to their residential colleges...because the active, smart, sportive students will leave their colleges to join 5th residential college in the freshies 2nd year. 5th college has won the SUKan Mahasiswa Universiti Malaya aka SUKMUM 20 years in a row without failure.
Therefore PM's would try their level best to avoid the freshies from being exposed to Palapes.
We even heard last year stories of PM sabotaging the PA system when palapes were to promote at the college.
We thought of leaving a box for the freshies to hand in the forms but there is a huge possibility that the PM's would take away the forms. So, we emphasized on registration through SMS.

This year HEP (hal ehwal pelajar) decided that Palapes slot at the RC is to be shared with Suksis(Police) with only 30 minutes time slot and same time in all the college. 8pm-8.30pm at all colleges. Previous years, the time slot was different so palapes could have full force about 50 palapes promoters at the colleges, but this year only 3-5 palapes promoters per college...

we are to speak only of the good things and do anything to bring in new recruits.

3rd sep, Promotion at the colleges had a low response, only 26 freshies filled in the forms.

The next day, we went to the faculties to promote...Whenever PM saw us, they used another way to reach their destination or not they made the freshies run. It was like we are in a mini war with the PM...2879 freshies to reach out to.

We are promoting to 10 out of 12 colleges because 6th college is senior medicine students only, and 10th college is foreigner students. Palapes is for local students with a minimum of 3 remaining studying years.

5th Sep, pameran palapes inside and outside the DTC(dewan Tunku Chancellor) but PM's did not allow freshies to come near the booth. They were asked to run or totally avoid us by using other doors and the PM even asked the freshies to go away from the booth...Woah!
Anyway, Palapes talk at DTC and we got 281 (including 26) forms.

6th Sep, statistic department detected multiple registrations therefore 229 only. Promote palapes at KPS(kompleks perdana siswa) to 3rd college because they didn't let us promote on 3th sep. this time full force of 50 promoters and we got about 60 recruits from 3rd college alone...Woah! After that, promote to other colleges that were resting before sports time.
Statistic 295 recruits. Majority choose Navy.

7th sep, promote at DTC or KPS to colleges before sports time. Senior army were there for 7 minutes then all went missing in action. Navy senior only 5 person all went promoting. No wonder majority of the freshies choose Navy because Navy was promoting while Army was missing in action. Navy already reached our target long time ago but we are still promoting while Army have not reached their target and they are lazing around. They are hoping that Navy do all the job and then the freshies that fail will be absorbed into the Army.

In the markas palapes, the senior Army always hide and the senior navy always have to do things. Only 5 senior navy and more than 10 senior army but it's the navy that always get the scolding and do all the job.
The Senior Navy were the only ones that didn't have transport and therefore had to walk to the markas palapes while all the others had vehicles.

Any job, 5 of us will be called eventhough there are about 10 army around. It's like the senior navy is lower rank than the senior army. Our Subby doesn't stand up for us, they also join in the YO and bully us. In our Subby's eyes we are Cadet forever! :'(

Subby is Sub lieutenant Navy and YO is Young Officer Army. Both is just a rank above senior navy and senior army.

Navy finish their job already but we still had to go to the markas palapes and do the Army's unfinished job. Cleaning up the Army storeroom is nothing to do with us, navy has their own storeroom also...Senior Army's attitude made me feel disappointed in them and made me feel proud that I am a Navy in terms of attitude.

Because in the navy, each person is important and will impact the whole team so we have respect and share burden and teamwork such as If one person doesn't come the whole team will be punished. But the army has a huge population that when one member doesn't come it doesn't really make a difference.

8 Sep to 12 sep still got promosi palapes...ARGH! we heard that all the senior army is not going to markas so we call our subby and told them that we also don't want to promote because firstly, we already reach our target and secondly we haven't even got ready for university, we are uni students first then only Palapes.

Our allowance is lesser compared to the army, we don't even reach RM2000 a year, our bonus is RM 300 a year only but the Army always have more than RM3000 a year with a bonus of RM 500.

The Army has 2 pairs of a same uniform and most of the things are issued or provided by the government but the navy has only one pair of the same uniform and we have to buy with our, the army is a better choice as you can skip training, and get a lot of perks but if you want to acquire better attitude then the navy would be one...

Sunday, August 12, 2012

culture or scam?

Cole said he wanted to meet up with me, "I really need your attention, at least 2 hours. Please make time for me"...Oki, might be something related to his I set up an appointment. Not wanting to meet this guy alone, I tried to ask my ex-roomate who's staying in UM to accompany me but she didn't respond.

Finally I met up with Cole, he wanted to buy me lunch but I lied and said I already ate...then he said he wants to open a business in Malaysia and just needs my IC.
Err, what? But that's not all, then he said he dream that I would be in the next Olympic and he told me he also prayed for me...After that, he said from the start he knew it was me and started all the praising and sweet talk which I didn't really pay attention to, but the last sentence caught me off guard. He said "I want you to be my girlfriend" and his eyes was kinda teary...

Huh? Er, I don't plan to be in a relationship until I get my degree..
he said "I can wait"

His business plan is a recycling machine, whereby people put recycled stuffs in there and they get back money...I asked how is that profitable if you give money out?

He said he feels God wants him to do something good for Malaysia...

Why don't you open the company in your own country?
Then I couldn't really understand what he was saying...either he was speaking too soft or I couldn't understand his accent...

He asked when can we meet again? I said monday I'll be helping out... When he heard that there will be a group of people he declined...

He said he wants my personal email so that he can email me the proposal for the business. I said just use the university email. He said no.

He asked where do I stay and all...I gave general answers.
He said why are Malaysians so untrusting, negative and think he is scheming...


Ok, Cole is a UM Masters student...I try to help out UM -ers by answering surveys and questionaires and Cole happen to be one of them. The first time he contacted me I felt really weird cause he was very inquisive of my biodata and personal life, before things went over, I realised this is too much and not related to his Masters at all. He said he just want to know me better...he kept wanting to meet me and buy me lunch or dinner but I tried to avoid it. Then he went on to ask for Facebook or Yahoo ID or my personal email. No way...

I asked my Malaysian friend who was brought up in the overseas, is it weird or it is their culture to be so inquisive...she told me not to worry, it's their culture...

This is only his second time meeting me but already asking me to be his girlfriend?
At a first thought, I feel like it's a scam...this black guy from Canada, asking personal questions, asks me to be gf, wants my IC for business? Doesn't want to use UM email and doesn't want to meet up if there is a group of people?

But then again, maybe Westerners are memang like that?

My old school friend warn me of foreigners using and cheating Malaysians to open a company...

Before this, I prayed to God to give me a boyfriend that will bring me closer to God.
Hmm, is this an answered prayer?

When I was born, my parents dream for me was to be travelling, therefore my chinese name means "maple leaf" the one in the Canada Flag...My mom also hoped for me to marry a mat-salleh

Friday, August 10, 2012

saying No to dad

I don't know why but I feel weird when I see my father wearing my shirt...yeah, I know I don't want the shirt but seeing my father wear it, I start getting upset "Why is he wearing my shirt?"

My father wanted to use my laptop to watch youtube. Actually I don't want to let him but it wouldn't be nice to decline...unwillingly I let him use it but under my brother's supervision.

I guess I just don't feel comfortable letting my father use anything that's mine or used to be mine. I'm totally okay if my mom, or siblings wants to use my things...but when it comes to my father, I really feel reluctant and uncomfortable.

LoL, perhaps not a good advice, I might hurt his feelings...

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

baskin robbins n media prima

The Olympics in London 2012
Lee Chong Wei vs Lin Dan for mens' badminton finals was the most watched match in the whole Malaysia for it would be Malaysia's 1st Olympic gold if Lee Chong Wei were to win.

Besides that, Media Prima and Baskin Robbins would give out free ice cream to celebrate Impian Emas Negara.

Notice the title "IF msia get GOLD in Olympic"

It was a very close match first Chong Wei won, then Lin Dan and the 3rd round was crazy 19-21. So close, both very tired. Lin Dan won.
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

So, anyway after that, a lot of Malaysians somehow just chose the paragraphs they like to read.

original statement


words people miss out
  I feel so weird that people all misinterpreting and misreading la. This is a conversation with a dear friend.

 LoL, u all really need to read an article as a WHOLE and not just pick the lines that are nice...the article u shared is recent and the message is still the same that there is HIGH HOPES on REMAINING msian athletes for GOLD.
 i think its the way the writer wrote it. i did read the whole thing then the last para kinda confuse me then i thought oh maybe they r still giving since he was so close to gold. haaahaa..ok la nevermind.. its just one scoop.,the best part is just that we get to go out with friends and chill~!haha"

  if u read properly, it says gold waiting for other malaysian athletes to bring a GOLD medal then only the deal is on...
But whats with the last paragraph thn?? im confuse now -.-
 the last paragraph is to be read with the paragraph before the last paragraph
 how bout the 3rd paragraph, in quotes ..
"still have high hopes for the REMAINING MSIAN ATHLETES" to bring the GOLD ...Dream of GOLD
 urr.but they confirm wanna give it 8th august 8pm-10pm.
its like in any contract u have the terms n conditions if this happens, this is how the plan will be carried the writer actually assumed ppl understood this format
 confirm will give it out if and only if our DREAM of GOLD direalisasikan by any msian athletes. purpose of the free ice cream is to celebrate Msia's 1st Olympic gold medal..
sigh..guess i get too excited 

 So, anyway...
1st people misinterpret therefore people would feel "cheated" even though it's the people's fault for misunderstanding the writers ENGLISH. So in order to protect company image, the company succumb to the misinterpretation of the mass...tadaa, today we have free Ice Cream.
Hence displaying the Power and Influence of People. This is what we call "Consumer is King"!/photo.php?fbid=389263187807834&set=a.127809167286572.22307.127549293979226&type=1&theater

In view of the valiant efforts of our Olympian heroes who have united us all and made the country proud, Impian Emas Negara Media Prima and Baskin Robbins have decided to STILL give out free ice-cream to all Malaysians! 61 outlets nationwide. 8th August 8-10pm! (excluding two kiosks at Pantai Hospital, Bangsar and Genting Theme Park)

Friday, July 20, 2012


There comes many moments in life where we wanna be in so many places at one time. These moments forces you to choose and take sides eventhough you wish you could have the best of all the worlds.

Sometimes the choice you have to make is something your heart doesn't want to make cause the heart wants to choose the alternative but it really boils down to choosing what's right for you or thinking how your choice will effect the people around you. Choosing something you should do or choosing Something you love to do.

Now I have to prioritize so I can make better decisions in time to come.

futsal IPT league clashes with RSC Dingoes rugby.
utm futsal circuit on 20-23 sep, while Jonah Jones 7s rugby is on 22-23 sep
grand final futsal circuit is on 10-14 oct but Bali 10s is on 12-15 oct.

I'm just a reserve in futsal but I am obliged to futsal because it's a league and representing my university. We've registered already and my name will be blacklisted if I don't go. I will get allowance for representing the University.

In rugby, most probably I will get to play at least half of the time or even full time. I use money for flight expense. It's something I love.

My heart wants to choose rugby because it's my passion and I love rugby but futsal is my obligation since it's with the university and I already took a spot on the team. If I don't go, my name will be blacklisted, it will affect the university team and my image in the university, it's like I secured a place in the futsal team but only to back out. Besides that, futsal team will have shortage of one player and I would technically stealing the opportunity of someone else who is more committed and really passionate to play futsal.

I admit I got myself in a bit too much there. Next year masum options: softball, futsal, athletics. outside sports rugby, frisbee and captainball.

I think handball is totally eliminated. Athletics don't quite disturb other sports so it's ok, but it will definitely be eliminated once I have to choose between athletics and other sports.

Futsal and softball. For Softball, I definitively get game time...futsal, i'm a reserve.

I guess after the IPT league, I will start focusing on softball cause softball don't really clash with rugby. Oh well, this time around I'll have to take the bitter pill of my sports choice and not selfishly pursue my own hearts desire.
I was really looking forward for Jonah Jones and Bali rugby this year but it looks like I can't join this year. Tough call to make. What to do? who ask me to join so many sports?

What I learn? Do not get involved if you're not planning to stay committed, don't be greedy, be realistic, stick to one. Sometimes Less is Better because you can focus and you can wholeheartedly play the game. Being a Jack of All Trades but Master of None will force you into this kind of "opportunity cost" situations.

Monday, July 16, 2012

reconsidering my stand

Our masum softball match against UPSI yesterday,
Our coach always believe that we can beat UPSI but we are always not confident with our own selves so we end up losing to UPSI. We've met UPSI twice already and our record is very bad, almost near mercy rule. Coach said we have to play like it's our last softball game in our life. If we lose this we lost in our grouping.

We started 'Top' means batting first. Usually teams would like to play BOTTOM first so that the team will end the inning with batting aka a chance to score till the game time.
 Things was ok, we had 2 runs.
In the second inning we caught up and suddenly the game was very intense, we were leading and our morale was high, our confidence came back, HOPE appeared and we may have a shot in actually beating UPSI.

A bit of frustration with some silly mistakes and finally we lost. No one supporting us, a really loud and supportive UPSI gang cheering them on brought our morale down, leading from 7-4, we lost 7-11. If UPSI didn't have anyone cheering them, UPSI would still be having low morale and our morale would still be high and we would have won the game.

This is the first time in UM that the softball women team didn't bring any medal back.

Some of u know what a sore loser I am, When I lose in a sport, I will change sport. In standard 6, I lost 100m against Steffi, so after that I never ran 100meter, and that's how I move on to new events like 400meter, 800meter, long jump then to long distance 5km, 15km, 21km, then to walking, rugby, handball, softball. Stop a sport when I lose...

Now, I thinking am I still gonna be a sore loser? Do I really wanna keep changing sports and running away from redeeming myself? Have I come to a point where I am very disappointed in myself for keep switching sports every time I lose?

This year I lost COPA IBA too, so do I wanna stop playing captainball?

I've lost my faith, so do I wanna give up on myself and change religion?

My pendirian is if I lose in a sport, then stop and change sports. I think maybe it's time I rethink and reconsider whether I should change my stand,opinion, conviction, point of view, attitude.

I can't keep running away from my failures forever, If I fall down, it doesn't mean my legs are broken nor does it mean life has ended.

the lyrics from my favourite song (Life is like a Boat by Rie Fu)

"kudayami ni omoe dakedo mekaku shisarete tadake"
Even when I think everything’s dark, I’m only blindfolded or
It would seem I was in the dark, but I was only blindfolded

things may seem bleak and futile but it doesn't mean I should give up trying and just because i think things are hopeless, doesn't mean the situation is really hopeless...

Monday, July 9, 2012

hep and masum

Softball masum centralised training this year has been totally different from last year. There's no training allowance, the guys and girls are separated, there's no morning assembly, there's no culture night, there's no daily updates on UM's achievements, the coach also is less strict, the training just doesn't feel like a camp, it's no so organized, we have to use our own transportation to go for friendly games, we have to use our own money to buy medical aids such as plasters, iodine and strappings. We don't have the full softball uniform yet and the jerseys is not enough, we have 14 players but 13 jerseys only. We even have to buy ice ourself. The food is not athlete friendly also, too spicy that even the Malays who love to eat raw chilli find the food too spicy.

Last year the masum centralised training was handled by Sports Centre.This year the masum centralised training is under HEP(Hal Ehwal Pelajar) and not under Sports Centre.

I guess HEP should allow Sports Centre to handle sports instead of HEP showing power and authority in something they don't really know how to handle.

Last year, all the basic sports requirement were given like full uniform, enough jerseys, free ice, first aid kit, strapping, and the whole environment made us feel like a real training camp and closer bond especially with other sport athletes and feel patriotic towards UM when we hear updates and the university's sports achievements.

Separating guys and girls into different colleges also is kinda funny, the coach has to stay far away, the team bonding between the guys team and girls team also almost don't exist and a huge gap in between.

Training with no allowance, no ice, no transportation, no first aid kit, no proper sports attire? It feels like the university is cutting cost, disorganized or they have no understanding in sports management.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

there was a cashier

I represented team Masum for softball in the ING National Open Softball Championship...I was the worst among the best. By God's grace I was selected to represent Masum<-- Malaysia Local Universities.

I didn't play as the main players, just a reserve. The coaches were more interested in winning than any other thing. Even when we were leading 18-0, the coach didn't let the reserves play in the last batting or inning (we started with fielding so should end with batting)...
M for men, W for women, just incase you didn't know how to read the results

here's a short story taken from

The following is a translation of a short story originally taken from a 2008 book by Haruhiro Kinoshita and posted on a blog called One Minute Impressions. The story struck a chord with tens of thousands of people across Japan as it spread through social networks.
There Was This Cashier
She moved from the countryside to go to a university in Tokyo. She joined many extra-curricular activities but always got turned off quickly . One after another, she jumped from club to club looking for something better.
When it came time for her to find work, she got a job with a manufacturing company, but she couldn’t continue working there. Three months after starting she felt she couldn’t see eye to eye with her boss. It didn’t take long for her to quit.
The next job she got was for a distribution company. She worked there for six months but came to realize the job was different than she had hoped it to be. Shortly after, she quit.
From there she joined up with a company that manages medical statistics and information, but this too didn’t do it for her.
This job just isn’t for me.
As this pattern went on and on her resume became an ever-growing list of companies that failed to live up to what she expected from a job. The longer her resume got the more difficult it became for her to get a job, until finally it was impossible to find an employer willing to take a chance on someone unwilling to commit to any job. However, if she couldn’t work then she couldn’t live.
Her parents suggested she move back in with them, but she couldn’t slink back home like a dog with its tail between its legs.
She signed up with a temp agency, but she couldn’t even get through temporary work. Wherever she went, she would quit if she had the slightest problem. Her record of former employees grew faster with each temporary job she dropped.
One day, she received a new job offer through the temp agency. It was sent to all of the agency’s workers who were a flight-risk like her. The offer was working the checkout at a supermarket.
In these days supermarkets didn’t use bar codes. The cashiers had to type in the prices for all the items by hand. It took a bit of training, but after a week she had already gotten tired of typing into the register.
This is way too easy. I can’t keep doing this.
This time though, when she got that feeling she realized that she had already changed work a lot in her life. She had grown to dislike herself for not having the patience to hold a steady job. She had to continue working here.
Hang in there. This is your last chance.
However, as much as she tried, she couldn’t continue. She made up her mind to resign. Soon after, she received a phone call.
“It’s time for you to come home,” her mother said.
Hearing the warmth in her mother’s invitation through the receiver, she made her choice. She began to pack her belongings to return home. After that she would tell the supermarket she quit.
She had accumulated a lot of things in her long time in Tokyo. While putting her stuff into a cardboard box she found a notebook in the drawer of her desk. It was her diary from when she was a young. She used to always write in it. She remembered looking for it a while ago but thought it was gone for good.
Flipping through the pages she saw written: “I want to become a pianist.” It was her high school dream.
Back then I used to practice every day to become a pianist.
For some reason practicing piano was the one thing she could continue doing. Still, somehow, without her noticing, she had given it up. She compared those days of chasing her dream to her life now, and she became disgusted with herself.
What happened to the me that used to have hopes and dreams?
Her adult diary had become nothing but a long list of discarded employers. Rather than recording her dreams she was carrying a record of her half-hearted attempts and failures. She knew things weren’t going well but she didn’t realize how low she had sunk until then.
Look at me now, I’m running away from a stupid cashier job.
So she closed her diary and went to call her mother. “I’m going to stay here a little longer,” she said choking back the tears. She put aside her resignation and decided to go to work the next day forcing herself to be happy punching boring numbers into that boring register.
Just a few more days will be good enough to know for sure if I want to continue.
Doubt and excuses would sometimes slip into her thoughts.
When I studied piano, I would make mistakes again and again, but I kept at it until my fingers memorized the keys. After enough time, I could play the piano without looking at my hands.
Remembering those days she set a goal for herself.

Alright, I’m going to master that register like I did the Piano.
She studied the button combinations to hit for every item the supermarket sells. She committed the arrangement of the keys on the register to memory. Then she practiced.
After a few days she could type fast. Then she didn’t have to look at the register any more. Her attention began shifting to the customers.
Oh, that customer came yesterday too…
Her hand typed in the price of a dozen eggs by itself.
…only this time she brought her kids.
She could see a lot from her post now. It became her secret pleasure. Her fingers would dance across the register like a professional pianist’s would. As her eyes studied the people she began to notice more and more details about them.
Here’s Ms. Only-Buys-Things-On-Sale.

Well, if it isn’t Mr. Comes-Just-Before-Closing-Time.

Here comes The Honorable Lady Buys-Expensive-Stuff.

One day, ol’ Mrs. Buys-Things-Just-Before-Their-Expiration-Date came to her register, only this time carrying a fresh and expensive fish.
“What’s the special occasion?” she blurted out to the old lady in surprise.
Mrs. Buys-Things replied, “My grandson won an award for his swimming, we’re going to celebrate. It’s a nice fish isn’t it?”
“Yes, congratulations” she said, unaware she was gently smiling to Mrs. Buys-Things. This is when she found the pleasure of communicating with her customers.
After a while she had memorized all the customers’ faces and picked up some of their names. She started to help them with their shopping.
“Hi Mrs. Tanaka, you’re sure you want to buy this chocolate? We have some cheaper stuff over in aisle three today.” she said. “Also, you’d be better off buying chicken rather than fish today.”
And all the customers in her line appreciated it, thanking her as they went to rethink their choices. The more she interacted with the customers the more she enjoyed going to work at the supermarket.
One day, she had a feeling that it was busier than usual, but she kept to her work and enjoyed talking with all the customers who came through.
The manager came over the intercom; “We apologize for the crowds. Could customers please move over to the empty registers?”
A little later the speaker repeated, “Again, we ask you to please move to the empty registers.”
After a third announcement she looked up. As her hand typed in the price of three tomatoes she could see five other cashiers waiting by empty registers but all of the customers had formed a long line to hers only.
The manager rushed onto the floor and said to the customers, “Please, if you would just go to another register, you won’t have to wait.”
“Oh go away,” said Mrs. Ito who only buys milk in glass bottles, “the only reason I come to this supermarket is to chat with this young lady. I don’t want another cashier.”
Upon hearing that, she broke into tears.
Mrs. Ito continued “The other supermarket up the street is cheaper than here, but I come to talk, so if you’d be so kind, I’ll just wait here.”
At this point, she was crying so hard she couldn’t work the register. For the first time, she saw how terrific a job could make her feel.
It wasn’t long before she got promoted to checkout manager.
Now she continues to teach new cashiers the joys that are returned to you by putting care and enjoyment into your work and customers.
Original Blog: One Minute Impressions (Japanese)
Original Book: (Japanese)