Sunday, August 30, 2009

Confused Malaysia bolehkah? 2 topics...

The Ghost Festival is celebrated during the 7th month of the Chinese Lunar Calendar It also falls at the same time as a full moon, the new season, the fall harvest, the peak of Buddhist monastic asceticism, the rebirth of ancestors, and the assembly of the local community. During this month, the gates of hell are opened up and ghosts are free to roam the earth where they seek food and entertainment. These ghosts are believed to be ancestors of those who have forgotten to pay tribute to them after they had died, or those who have suffered deaths and were never given a proper ritual for a sendoff.


Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar. It is the Islamic month of fasting, in which participating Muslims refrain from eating, drinking, smoking, and indulging in anything that is in excess or ill-natured; from dawn until sunset. Fasting is meant to teach the Muslim patience, modesty and spirituality. Ramaḍān is a time for Muslims to fast for the sake of God and to offer more prayer than usual. During Ramaḍān, Muslims ask forgiveness for past sins, pray for guidance and help in refraining from everyday evils, and try to purify themselves through self-restraint and good deeds. As compared to solar calendar, the dates of Ramadan vary, moving forward about ten days each year. Ramadhan was the month in which the first verses of the Quran were revealed to the Prophet Muhammad.

The act of fasting is said to redirect the heart away from worldly activities, its purpose being to
cleanse the inner soul and free it from harm. It also allows Muslims to practice self-discipline, self-control, sacrifice, and empathy for those who are less fortunate; thus encouraging actions of generosity and charity.
"When Ramadan arrives, Heaven's gates are opened, Hell's gates are closed, and the demons are chained up" and who ever passes away will enter paradise.

Both in the same day and month this how? Are the GhoST/demons free or locked? Are the Gates of Hell closed or Opened?

Dear Muslim brethren, don't u know the meaning of Ramadan? Why do u act this way? Tarnish our beloved Malaysia's image, you create racial tension...isn't Ramadan a month of Patience? Did Prophet Muhammad ever tell u to insult other religions, plus shouting "god is great"....Now That's an insult!

The cow head incident.

This incident is the most talked about presently. A group of people, after performing Friday prayers, marched to the government secretariat building with a severed cow head.

The object of their volatile outpouring is the relocation of a Hindu temple from section 19 to section 23. The cow head is severed. It was bloody. Protesters held it by the horns and carried the grisly object from the mosque to the secretariat building. Along the way, they shouted God is Great. Inflammatory speeches were made by the ring leaders of the cow head march. One Ibrahim Ismail gave a very incendiary speech. The sun was high. It was very hot. Some people kicked the cow head. It was shown on YouTube.

Section 23 is a part within the sprawling suburb of Shah Alam. The majority of people staying in section 23 as in Shah Alam are Malays. They are also Muslims. They are God Fearing people and good Muslims. If the protesters are residents of section 23, they have shown themselves as 'better' Muslims that their brethren in section 19. They are teaching the section 19 residents how to be good Muslims.

The unusual protest by some 50 people in Shah Alam, the capital of Selangor state, raises new fears of racial tensions in this multiethnic Muslim-majority country where Hindus comprise about 7 percent of the 27 million population.

The demonstrators who marched from a nearby mosque after Friday prayers dumped the cow head outside the gates of the state government headquarters. Selangor adjoins Kuala Lumpur.

Protesters stomped on the cow head and spat on it before leaving the site.

The demonstration, which occurred days before Malaysia celebrates its independence day on Monday, comes amid a new campaign by Najib to promote national integration by emphasizing equality of all races.

The Malaysian Insider quoted a protest leader, Mohammad Zurit Bin Ramli, as saying a temple would disturb Muslim practices.

"The temple will disrupt our daily activities like prayers. We cannot concentrate with the sounds coming from the temple," he said.

Excuse me, sounds from the temple? Hello! What about the sound from the MOSQUES everyday...5 times a day...loud speakers... REALLY SILLY excuses. HYPOCRITES! And it was an ILLEGAL PROTEST!

The protest as improper and extreme, especially during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan. A month where demons are chained up, a month to refrain from doing evil. IF this is how they behave on RAMADAN...I cannot bring myself to think how much more worse the situation would have been if it wasn't Ramadan, where the demons were free and not a month to refrain doing evil...

the worst insult to Hindu community took place in this country, kicking a sacred animal and creating provocation. There are enough evident collected by the media showing the group and the individual involved. Giving speech, the Taliban style of extremism. Why these extremisms were not arrested? Thank god, this country is full of rational, harmony loving people. The police has apologised for not responding immediately. Well it is fair enough. Now why such a delay on the arrest? Are the police waiting for September 5th , where the forum to take place between the MBSA and the residents of section 23? Which will surely gather huge crowd. Why the forum now? Do anybody with the right mind will organise an open forum, when the issue is still very fresh in people's mind. Take action on those who are responsible and have a close door forum directly with the leaders of the community later stage. Probably the issue can be resolved in a civilized manner.

Section 19 temple = during BN rule. Section 23 temple = PR rule. So the cow head protest is not only aimed at creating a climate of fear for Hindu worshipers but also as reason perhaps to dispose of the PR government unconstitutionally. Indeed the ringleader of the cow head demonstrators said, the severed cow head wasn't meant to insult the Hindus religion. It was meant to show that leaders of the PR government in Selangor are stupid like cows. Ah ha - the object of his desire is to kick out the legitimately elected government! This cow head demo is therefore just cannon to the political fodder.
The severed cow head is symbolic of what? To the Hindus a cow is a sacred animal. Can we infer from the severed cow head, that this dismembered anatomy of a cow, is meant to send ominous signals to the Indian/Hindu community

Human Resource Minister S. Subramaniam said the incident infuriated Prime Minister Najib Razak, who asked the national police chief to investigate. Witnesses said police stood by and did nothing to stop the protest.

52 years of independance, Malaysia a country that claims to be harmonious and peaceful, a country where there is "TOLERANCE" between the races... I don't know if our country is really ready to declare "MERDEKA" or "MALAYSIA BLOEH"

Saturday, August 29, 2009


Weak, tired, contented ;)

I went for my first time to a gym today. Allied Martial Arts Gym @ Hartamas...woah, it was cool but I was really lousy...LOL
It was the Girls Rugby team thingi la...

Seriously it was so embarrassing...I had to get "discounts" because I couldn't do what they did, so I just had to do HALF of what the other girls did...I just could not do many things, I tried my best, I really did but I couldn't do it larh. But the girls were really encouraging, so was the coaches. I really look up to the girls, they are so strong and yeah, It was fun!

First time I was a weakling! Woah...haha, what a day. I feel humbled.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Stpm scedule is out!

The STPM schedule...
the subjects I'm taking is

1. [PA]Pengajian Am (kertas 1 & 2)
2. BM (kertas 1& 2)
3. Sejarah (Dunia & Islam is paper 1 and paper 2 is Asia& Malaysia)
4. Ekonomi (mikroekonomi is paper 1 and paper 2 is makroekonomi)
5. [PP]Pengurusan Perniagaan ( kertas 1 & 2)

So, the days I'll be sitting for STPM

23 nov, monday-->8am-11am(PA 2 essay)
24 nov, tuesday-->2pm-5pm (Sej 1)
26 nov, thursday-->8am-11am & 2pm-5pm (BM2 essay & PP1)
30 nov, monday-->8am-11am, & 2pm-5pm (Sej 2 & mikroekonomi)
2 dec, wednesday-->2pm-5pm (makroekonomi)
3 dec, thursday-->8am-11am (PP2)
9 dec, wednesday-->2pm-4pm (PA1)
10 dec, thursday-->2pm-4pm (BM1)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Rugby! first rubgy practise...
I met Hideko at Bangsar LRT then we took a taxi to Royal Selangor Club Kiara Sport Annexe...he used old meter and tambah a Ringgit Malaysia...haiz... it came up to RM 7.10 +RM 1 = RM 8.10

We arrived early la, we were quite worried if there was practise today....fasting month mar.
...we ran 2 tiny rounds and did a bit of light warm up...then we sat again waiting for more girls to come. Coach Wally got the practise starting with "pop"(it's pushing the ball up, kinda like "setting" in volleyball but much lower)...each time we fail, had to do push up(pumping la)...
Next we did pairings and run in circles. There's an inner circle and an outer circle, each partner run opposite sides, one in the inner and one on the outer circle. Coash gives instruction like how many feet must be on the ground after he blows his whistle...while running, we got to think how do we do that. Then when coach blows the whistle and we have to find our partner and have only the certain number of feet on the ground...
See, Rugby is not all physical, it's a thinking game too..
Then we did something like passing but in lines...dono how to explain that...I kinda suck in the other coach took me aside and taught me some different ways of passing...
I learnt, always hold the ball with 2 hands. Let the opposite leg step first, to throw at the side...
there was some more things he taught me, but i doubt i can remember it next week... a lot to absorb :P but extremely fun...
I really enjoyed the session...neways a few people said that I was lucky because the trainning was not heavy today cause it's the fasting month...they even said there was a few girls who lost a lot of weight just through this. *wink wink*
I like the experince la... I hope I can continue with this...It's really awesome...
Whether you're over-sized or whether you're a tiny creature, there's always a position for you in Rugby! Usually big people are the forwards who do a lot of tackles and the small people are the runners...

Coach Hafil drop me home and Hideko to the Bangsar LRT...

SO yeah, anyone can come...
It's every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturdays at 5.30pm-8pm...The Royal Selangor Club Kiara Sport's a a branch of the Royal Selangor Club built over a piece of land in Bukit Kiara

RBS 2010

Hey people, Residential Bible School 2010 is here already,
so those who finish their form 5 this year
and those who finish their STPM this year
and those who are on college holidays from the 4th January to 11 January 2010...
Actually, anyone bumming around are also welcome...anyone la...well, come on and register la.

Inter Brethren Assemblies(IBA) Youth Development presents :RBS

for more info, surf

Applications for RBS 2010 are now OPEN! The closing date is 4 October 2009, and the limited places available places normally fill up very fast, so hurry to avoid disappointment!

WHERE? Highlands Christian Centre, Tanah Rata, Cameron Highlands

WHEN? 4 January - 11 February 2010

HOW MUCH? RM1100 if you are from a Brethren church. RM1400 if you are not. More details on the cost are in the brochure.

BROCHURE- Details on the school and the costs.-
APPLICATION FORM- Make sure you read it CAREFULLY.-
POSTER- The publicity poster.-

Monday, August 24, 2009

15 Malaysia -house by Linus Chung

House-by Linus Chung
An Indian boy is asked to build a model of his house at school. A tale on the social economic plight faced by many Malaysians.

for me the last part is showing that no matter what happen in life, regardless of races, there will always be somebody who care and concern about you….Just like Kak Min, who pass by, where she could just walk off, but she saw the lonely Indian kid with sadness…so she just sit down and talk to him…..that is Malaysia, and that is what Malaysian should be” CC

Sad to say we still have many teachers like that, teaching the kids worldly values, not respecting others’ views or opinions. I’m sure many of us were poor once but we all lupa diri!” Timothy Cheng

All short film from 15malaysia should be officially broadcast in all school! i mean to all school in Malaysia regardless the race and level.” CCH

Masih ada yang duduk menumpangkan dalam negara sendiri,macam pendatang asing..kesian tengok kan hidup rakyat yang ditindas macam tu.Harap Kerajaan ambil tahu segala kesusahan rakyat,baru ambil tahu pasal rakyat di negara lain” Hana

A message to Samy Vellu, it is not only Samy. His boss for 20 years did nothing about it too. Kampung Buah Pala and other things did not happen overnight. This matter takes time to grow. A deep political video, if you see it the right way.” Wave33

First of this clip, the clip reflect the wealth gaps of the Malaysian.
As shown in the clip, Rama grown in a poor family, although he is poor, but he lives happily with her mother in the house built by his father. He is forced to be find the ingredient at the junk yard behind his house because his background.
At the school, Rama had presented his house, but his creation didn’t appreciate by his teacher, even laughing at him.
This show the young teacher, only knows to teach student, but never think of student feeling. This show how crippled is the education system of our country.
At the last 2 part, Rama get bullied by two student, this show the bully atmosphere is common in Malaysia.(Note : because of teacher treat him like this, who can he trust?)
Last part is, his house is tearing away, when their house is tearing away but no people helped Rama’s family even the government, or the politician or the charity organization. Who will care about a ordinary poor family? Where are the politicians or the officials who should help them? Maybe they all went to makan angin already. This criticizes the passive of government system. Why always wait until the problem happen, only start to thinking.” Ruiz

A very touching film..Portrays the life of a poor boy that loves and knows how to appreciate what he got. However, i don’t really like the way the teacher discourage the boy and let other students to laugh at him….what kind of teacher is that? So, money is much more valuable than the moral values these days huh? If u r rich ‘di sanjung’ and if u r poor ‘di hina’? How can this be taught in a school?
In Malaysia, there are still so many people under these circumstances, so sad” sSSs

A story once told in my life, that i witnessed, that i heard… there was a teacher asking, asking the students, students of the top class, “what is your ambition?”… “doctor”… “teacher”… “pilot”… “vet”… “engineer”… “mechanic”… “HAHAHAHHA”… class then filled with laughter… my heart ached for that classmate of mine… it was a cruelty that cuts deep… i was then only 12++, 1st year of my high school… isn’t a mechanic an ambition too?”Lilian

I agree that someone like Kak Yasmin will care someone who is needed, although there are people who are not caring enough, just like the two male teachers chatting behind there…There are still caring people in the world although the world seems like to be cruel” Jenndrew

If you need to know what Yasmin was saying, consider this: Perhaps it’s similar to what Mukhsin wrote on the kite for Orked?” Amir Muhammad

That boy built the house from scrap he picked up from the garbage yard, in reality this is true, their house are built in such way, I know become I been there. They don’t even have enough money to eat, and their dream is limited, to live only.” R

It shows Rama’s thinking that his dream house is the house which he can live happily with his family. To remember the times he had with his (assumed deceased) father. Material wealth is not as significant as family. We tend to forget that” Isaac

I think the most important message being conveyed here is the belief. Rama insisted that that was his dream house, he is proud of it. Who cares if it is a big house or small, it is the relationship that counts, the family that matters. I like the expression of the mom, so hopeless... and Min’s appearance at the ending also vividly points out the sympathy from the society towards Rama and the people as a whole. We know what happened and we care.” Jason

I think the “house” represents the environment the boy lives in, and the “model of the house” represents the hope of the boy. The only hope of the boy is to live happily in a house with his mom, but because of inevitable development of the surroundings, makes the boy helpless and being washed away from the fast growing society. The moral of the story is to keep progress with the current development of else we will be extinct from the society.” Color Blind

All we need is just a home that we could live in, regardless of its price and the impression gives to other people. No point of living in an empty house with no one else except yourself, or with your family in it , but never harmony. And all we want is not always what we need.” KL Yap

well the last scene could actually mean even though that you’re in trouble, there’s always someone out there who actually cares…. for your plight and ready to help and the teacher (yasmin) brings herself down to the student’s level, not talking while standing… to me this shows the readiness to understand someone’s problems from their level.” Cheecken0

Sunday, August 23, 2009

15 Malaysia's Chocolate by Yasmin Ahmad

A quiet tale that reminds us that, despite the multifaceted contradiction of Malaysia, life goes on – even if not all of it is sweet.

"this chinese boy is closed up in the crowded area, and at the same time, the mother's nagging at him bout wanting him to go overseas, because that's where... we're supposed to be to earn a living lah... or so that's what the old chinese people think, and how malaysia is only catered to their "own kind" sorta thing. Then when the malay girl comes in, he sense the freedom, and the space is bigger too.... and then the fact that she didn't have enough money to buy chocolates, showed that there are some malays or other races in malaysia who are suffering just like the chinese.... but not all the chinese also lar... cuz some chinese people think they're too well to do too...and the fact that she couldn't buy the chocolate shows that not all malays get what they want... So yea, that sums up the whole meaning of this short film" Elena Lee

"whole message is BORDER.the mum urging the Son to cross over the border to find better job..the mum telling the son the country treat ‘that kind of people’ better, ‘our kind of people’ need to work hard…his kind…our kind…set another border again…the son is talking normally wif the gal….he thought of nothing even may be hav some feeling wif the gal…then his mum remind him abt the ‘border’ again…”y u talk wif Malay gal’? the border of race…things get simpler n better without setting up border among us.." Rain

"An utterly-remarkable work by Yasmin Ahmad. The mother in the story represents the social burden that Malaysian Chinese carry, which is the fact that they’re not given equal opportunities and have to look for better chances in unfamiliar foreign lands. The boys refusal represents his bond with his country and its people, despite the unfairness that he might face here, Malaysia is where his heart is. The Malay girl represents the multi-racial community in Malaysia. The boy is attracted to the girl, and actually had the intention of ignoring the fact that the girl is short of 5 cents for the chocolate. However, the very moment that the mother speaks out about the ‘Malai Po’ (Malay girl), he got reminded about the social inequality again and refuses to sell it to the girl. He had some remorse feelings later, but as his mother again shouts at him, he harden his heart again and slams the chocolate on the counter due to his rage. The whole idea of the story is that Malaysian, regardless of race, can actually live harmoniously together. But what parts us today, is not our differences, instead its the inequality of the government policies that cause the racial chaos"Kenzo

"why chocolate?? because it’s ‘bitter-sweet’ taste" Arez

"This is beautiful. Notice how time just stands still when the two meet. It’s a special moment- that short 1 minute “relationship” is for that moment perfect- pure, color-blind, free. And then his mum shouts and it snaps him back to reality- back to the sometimes disturbing, unsettling, contradictions of Malaysian society" Grace

"Add one more hidden point to this film, the parent’s mindset is shaped by external factors like government policy.The boy first handed the girl a milk bottle. An involuntary subconscious action meaning the girl, representing one side of malaysia are being ’spoonfed’ and well taken care of from young to old, while the boy representing the other side, have to struggle for everything in life. Batteries symbolising energy, life. It is a neccesity. But chocolates are not. Yet it still wants the other side to subsidise their good life. The Chinese youth initially has no bad feeling against that Malay girl (Malay race), indeed he was attracted by her politeness and good manner. He was fed up with her mother’s racist remark and projected his bad mood toward that innocent Malay girl.He actually regretted for his own bad manner, but hesitate to apologize to her under the influence of his mother.The hidden message is parents are shaping the worldview of the children. A Malay saying, “bapa borek, anak bintik”." NkKhoo

"A sad but true reflection of life in malaysia all powerfully played out in a few short minutes with many cryptic messages embedded waiting for us to decipher and interprete from which ever side you stand.In life, chocolate is something you can do without if you can’t afford it; so do not try to get it at other peoples’ expense.The boy first handed the girl a milk bottle. An involuntary subconscious action meaning the girl, representing one side of malaysia are being ’spoonfed’ and well taken care of from young to old, while the boy representing the other side, have to struggle for everything in life. Batteries symbolising energy, life. It is a necessity. But chocolates are not. Yet it still wants the other side to subsidise their good life" AhPek

" i think it’s a story of how the poor live their life. there may be alot of hard times along the way,but they still move on with thier lives. As for the boy for suddenly asking the girl “tak payah beli lah” i dun think that’s a symbol that show chinese are money minded freaks that they can’t even spare 5 cents of good to the malay girl. I think he was just pissed at his mom for nagging at him continuously.cos in the end,he decided to let the girl have it by putting the choc on the table then walk off." Clement Ting

"Mesej filem pendek ini adalah tentang pengaruh generasi tua terhadap generasi muda. Mula-mula, lelaki yang tak berbaju itu sudah mempunyai suatu perasaan yang baik dan mesra terhadap gadis bertudung itu, namun disebabkan leteran ibunya yang mendesak dan memburukkan keturunan yang lain, lelaki itu jemu dengan keadaan yang dihadapinya (dalam hidupnya di Malaysia) dan berputus untuk bersikap kasar terhadap gadis Melayu itu. Dia sebenarnya tidak sampai hati berbuat demikian. Tuntasnya, generasi tua jangan sekali mempengaruh fikiran generasi muda kita dengan sikap perkauman mereka" Azman Nizam

" “He’s cheating you of your money, you know?”“Why cannot, I’m happy mah.”Can the mother’s attitude be said to be hypocritical? The son wants to stay here because he’s happy here, but she doesn’t allow it; yet she allows her boyfriend to take advantage of her, as long as she’s happy.Typical problem with chinese family. Parents care too much about education and not happiness or mental growth of children, less liberal ones at least. Communication is a big problem." MeiYen

Thursday, August 20, 2009



15Malaysia is a short film project. It consists of 15 short films made by 15 Malaysian filmmakers. These films not only deal with socio-political issues in Malaysia, they also feature some of the best-known faces in the country, including actors, musicians and top political leaders. You may think of them as funky little films made by 15 Malaysian voices for the people of Malaysia.

Please enter and make yourself comfortable.

Watch our films. Look at our photographs. Drop us rude comments. Display your own films. Grab cool goodies. Join competitions. Meet our people. Help us spread the word. Download anything you want…

We won’t charge a cent.

A laugh-out-loud film about a Chinese boy’s misguided attempts at opening an Islamic bank account.

"This movie portraits the fact that some minority who have some misunderstanding or maybe lack of exposure to the situation.No offence, to say that this movie ‘touch the issue’, i would say that this movie tries to educate us." WM GEEK

"Sesuatu yg biasa berlaku dlm masyarakat majmuk di Malaysia – kurang memahami budaya dan kepercayaan kaum yang lain. Walaupun sesetengah pihak mungkin menghebohkannya sebagai menyentuh perkara sensitif , namun dlm hati kecil mereka… saya percaya …mereka menerimanya sebagai kebiasaan di Malaysia dan bukanlah sesuatu yg perlu diheboh-hebohkan hingga membakar perasaan perkauman, KECUALI mereka mempunyai agenda tersendiri." LEE TEIK SOON

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

playing hard to get

Hey people,
You know in movies and dramas when you're with someone else, it's then that you realize who you really love? Yeah, that's the thing I realized.

There's a magnetic force pulling me over to HIM.
I don't want to let go of HIS hand, I don't want to lose Him,
I secretly wish and hope that He will win. I secretly hope He will not let go of my hand even though I may let go of His hand.

I love my God very much but right now SIN and PRIDE is in our way.
I realize without my God, my life sucks just the way it sucks right now.
I remember when I was a atheist and I remember how my God saved me from THAT horrible depression which was the most bitter part of my life which I never ever to go through again.
"Please don't leave me, don't let Your Spirit reject me. YOU'RE EVERYTHING TO ME"

But I'm playing hard to get. I secretly don't want HIM to give up. I secretly want HIM to win.
I want myself to be proven wrong.
I don't want HIM to let go of my hands even though I let go of HIS hand.

I love You LORD, I love You but sin, rebellion and pride is between us now.
My life really sucks without You, LORD! I want YOU, LORD!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

be friend-ers?

You can always give the befrienders a call...LOL

I know how to fix it, but I don't dare take that step...

Fear, Shame and Pride

That's what's wrong with me!

Monday, August 10, 2009


the crude and honest confession of
the ungrateful rebellious sinner:

Ashamed I write this...

Since June, God had been really evident and working in my life. HIS presence is just so real. Leadership, Opportunities and Joy...But somehow, I'm not as happy as I should be...

I think I'm fed up with GOD. (Too much of good things can make me jelak)
Everything is just going too good. I am tak biasa with what is going on lah.

August, right now I'm purposely sinning and deliberately rebelling...just like the Israelite during the cycle's in judges era, also like when they asked for a human king therefore rejecting God as their king [theocracy].

I'm talking about BGC family camp...
First Min Fook approach me,
then came U. Sunny(Sunday School teacher-->I'm a helper in Sunday school) sms pressure me,
Then was CJ's P& W time "You GENTLY call me into Ur presence...I'm captured by your Holy calling, SET ME APART I know you're DRAWING me close to Your self"
Next was Francis( Youth Adviser)......I said "NO!" to all...
then the final attack was U. Wong Tee Fatt(Church Elder) came and gave me no choice...
Then A. Siat Peng came and ask me why I don't want to go,
(lucky me, coincidentally on 1 st Sep, there's "trials")
I said I got "trials" the next day after camp. It was quite a solid reason ma...this 'trials' is the one where the JABATAN set one, same paper for the whole WPKL.
What, it's the truth what! OK, OK, the real reason is rebellion, it's just that I don't want to real reason. The tag line that is always used "STUDIES MORE IMPORTANT OR GOD MORE IMPORTANT?"
A.Siat Peng doesn't know the real reason, she thinks it's because of my "trials". So, A. Siat Peng is going to stand up for me...

I'm not only sinning but I also drag other people to support me and indirectly cause them to sin. A HYPOCRITE! What else? It's a rebellion and all pride just like Lucifer. Plus a bit of Jonah-ing where I don't want to do God's purpose instead I run away from God's purpose.
I'm so CHILDISH ya?

I'm challenging God, I'm in the winning line now. I really want to see how God is going to make the impossible possible now, I got people behind me and real "solid" reasons to avoid family camp. "what You gonna do har? What can You do?"

who the heck am I?
Now I still hear God's voice but I don't know when will I harden my heart so much so that I become immune to God's voice that I may not be able to hear HIM anymore? Will He reject me the same way He gave up the Israelites because they kept rebelling?

I deceivingly blind people by letting them think what they want to believe...making them believe in a half twisted truth aka Lies! I use people for my purpose. I don't care about whether it hurts other people.

My heart is a bit hardened...I have the "So what? Whatever! Believe what you want! It doesn't matter. What they don't know won't hurt them. It's okay as long as it doesn't destroy me!" attitude

The Chinese girl in my school said something to me at school...I just kept quiet but inside I shouted "Whatever la...Well, to tell you the truth Pui Yee, you are right! I never wanted to be here in the first place. If you don't want to talk to me then just don't talk lah. Not like you ever really talk to me at all. So what?"

I've gone crazy! I want to shout, hit something and run. I want to injure someone, don't care verbal, physical or emotional. I want to cut myself. I want to rebel or hurt some one's feelings. Right now I really want to play a contact sport. Rugby would be good!

something is wrong with me, someone help me, I'm falling away but thankfully my conscience is still rational that I'm not doing what I want to do...but this is all still wrong.
Can I just jump down a building?

Someone, Anyone, Everyone...
Please pray to God for me...Only He can save me. I don't dare go to GOD since it is I who choose to deliberately rebel against the Creator...

This SUCKS but PRIDE and EGO doesn't let me go back...

I'm hoping someone reads this and I'm hoping God wins...

~Distorted Girl~

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


Today in class my teacher spoke about modern means of communication.
She doesn't like blogs or the web as there is no more privacy-->everything is revealed.
Pui Yee and I replied back at the same time "the effect of Globalization mar"
(If i was back in SMKBB, I would have said "Jinx"..haha. Neway, Pui Yee wouldn't understand also)

Recently I talk to my elder bro about Uni life la...a very interesting I learn about social websites...
I asked my bro about ragging, my bro said "rare and almost don't have at all because of Facebook"

Huh? Facebook? what's it got to do with ragging right? Yeah, that's what i thought too.
Apparently the chancellor, vice-chancellor has Facebook accounts if there's any hint or proof(pic, notes, status, video) the bully would be kick out the next day...whoa! Globalisation :P

my personal thoughts of the Internet:
It's a virtual library/record of people's life...can you imagine our great grandchildren browsing to their ancestral roots and reading their ancestors blogs? LOL
The Internet also is like a place where you can keep in touch with friends, family and relatives no matter the distance.
Sure, you might lose your privacy if you're not careful...but if you're all "sendirian berhad", nobody knows what you're going through, nobody knows how you're feeling/doing and bla bla bla...SDN BHD also can be quite leads to Depression says MFoong!
Everything has pros and cons la...each coin has 2 sides.
Too much and too little of something is bad!
SO in the end, it all depends on how you use it...

Sunday, August 2, 2009

a flu flu day

Oh No! i woke up with Flu today...well i usually get a bit flu-y in the morning which goes off in the afternoon or evening, so it's not really a big deal la.
But the thing that made me worry is that now is the AH1N1 season mar...
Cheng Jin just came back from Australia on Friday...yesterday he came with flu but it's quite normal la for people to have flu cause now is the flu season mar...the only change is the "Australia-not a week yet and H1N1 period"

Nicholas Liew didn't come to Kids' Church today cause of flu, CJ and CKeet had fever, I got flu.
In school today-Economy class...Mr Nanda had a horrible flu. A few classmates of mine had flu.

Haiz...running nose?
turn off the nose? haha
flush it all out? :P

Running nose so quickly that i began to fly, was flying and soon i flew[flu]? LOL

Neways, CJ is negative H1N1, so it's just another normal flu a bit of the Indonesian forest fire...crazy la. The haze is visible....dirty air, unclear view...Haze!

Oh ya, need i tell you that i have a weak body system..or should i say bad immunity system?
I always get sick...

Saturday, August 1, 2009

I'm so happy!

Hi all my faithful blog readers...
I really feel so happy, lucky and just feel so positive today. What a really lovely way to end my week, after such a tension, stressful, gloomy, negative environment and vibes in school.

Today was so cool:
I didn't on my alarm but the LORD woke me up in time today for the National Bible Knowledge(BK) 09 Quiz. Despite the new environment and me being a non- map reader, I was able to somehow find my way around SMK Assunta.
I'm really thankful to God for that.

Praveen got 70% whole I only got 92%.
The fact that Praveen got 70% was really awesome! I'm so proud of him :) It's his first time and the cram plus compact bible study of 10 chapters of ACTS in 7days was really unthinkable!
I was Praveen's Bible Knowledge Crash-Course teacher. It was all God's doing especially the Holy Spirit. Praise be to God. They made it all possible! My God really answers prayers and He answers it more than I can imagine or ask for.
Ephesians 3:20 "Now to HIM who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to HIS power that is at work within us, to HIM be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen"

Some history/background of why I'm so proud of Praveen's result:
I asked Praveen(my class mate) whether he wanted to join a National Quiz-->National Bible Knowledge 09 quiz...(Praveen is a devout HINDU boy)
He said he would think about it.
I said "Haiya, 50 objective questions only mar...if you dono can simply shoot"

On the last day for registration he finally agreed. That meant he was left with 2 weeks before the real day. The syllabus was ACTS chapter 1 to 10.
Keep in mind that Praveen did not have a basic background of anything in the bible, all he knows was Christians believe in this history guy name Jesus and there is a Trinity because of our history textbook. Praveen watched the cartoon "The Prince of Eygpt"
NO idea of the book of Luke but now he has to learn the book of Acts. The book of ACTS in my opinion is the harder book to study...
Miss Moey(my BK teacher) uses at least 2 hours to teach a chapter.

On rainy days, Praveen doesn't come to school-->he walks to school(His house is about 2 KM away from school). [FIY: in Kg Kerinchi most students are poor and doesn't come to school on rainy days] Weekends is a NO-NO to study...week end mar.

Praveen had so many questions to ask, and there was so many chapters to cover. There were days we barely covered 1 chapter, there was days I stress myself out cause it rained. There were days time went so fast and we have not touched 3 sentences because of the much needed explanation and refreshing and showing the connection/fulfillment of promises and Jews' background history and the Old Testament contents and meaning of Jargon. I loved the Fridays for we were able to cover a lot, Yesterday I was struggling to finish the last 3 chapters...Praise God we manage to finish our syllabus. Going home at 5pm was tiring but worthwhile.

I was hoping that Praveen would just pass, but indeed Godis able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. Praveen not only pass but he did it with an astonishing high results of 70%
Better than many of my Christian friends-->who got the basic of LUKE and heard about ACTS, church attenders and basicly grew up with the Bible.
This 70% in only 7 days...imagine if he had more time to study? imagine if it was the book of LUKE?(Luke is easier mar)

I really feel so blessed. It was indeed a nice day. This is the day that the LORD has made, let us be glad and rejoice in it!

I won the Lucky draw also...haha. Free t-shirt and a super cool "Phases magazine"

Rina said I'm shortlisted for the Rosie Cheah award->I get to go for a Scripture Union camp for FREE

My Care Group(CG) AGAPE won the drama competition...whoa. I am convinced that it is because of the prayers and motive of AGAPE'S sincerely wanting GOD to use us to be a way of communicating rather than worrying on whether we would win or lose. Our focus was that win or lose the drama would be GOD's voice speaking to people...

A bad thing was that in the booklet, my school was printed was SMJK Katholik. This SMJK Katholik ar--> tumpang glamour only...Haiz.